God speaks to us in different ways. No longer does the All Knowing relay messages in the form of a burning bush or via an angel dressed in white. Those tactics are too subtle.
Today, God uses massive force, natural disasters and the power of the 24/7 news media machine.
As I sat watching the unfolding drama surrounding the horrific earthquake and tsunami that devastated Japan earlier this month, I could only think one thing: God is one pissed off entity.
It’s obvious that the Creator is upset about something. But why would God do such a thing? What has mankind done to deserve such an awful rebuke? It’s really not that hard to figure out. The cause of the tragedy is staring us in the face every time we turn on our hi-def televisions.
The reason behind the Almighty unleashing the combined forces that has turned Japan’s coast into a wasteland is obvious reality television. You simply can’t argue with the facts.
Face it, there’s only so much even the Being Upstairs can handle. It’s hard to pin down exactly what broke the camel’s back, so to say. But it has to be either Paula Abdul’s new reality dance show or the addition of yet another Real Housewives spin-off that caused the supernatural temper tantrum.
Apparently, the number seven as in seven versions of the show about spoiled, rich housewives struggling to keep up appearances isn’t such a lucky number after all.
If we would just listen to God and discontinue these shows, we wouldn’t have such disasters. And it’s not like we weren’t warned.
Remember, we were punished for the evils of reality television way back when the first unscripted series debuted in 1992.
It was The Real World that first invaded our homes in May of that year. It isn’t a coincidence that only three short months later, Hurricane Andrew slammed into the southern part of our own state, causing damage in the millions and killing unsuspecting Floridians. The facts speak or themselves God is unhappy with unscripted television.
God struck again when that original MTV series returned to its New York roots in 2001. There is no other way to explain the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center.
It’s time to contact our legislators and the presidents of the networks and demand these shows cease production immediately. How many more natural disasters can we take before we see the light?
Of course, everything I’ve talked about to this point is ridiculous. But if you replace reality television with gays,lesbians or transgender people,you have people echoing Amen and contacting legislators about restricting the rights of fellow citizens.
So far, the typical insane accusations that LGBTs are to blame for Japan’s natural disaster haven’t hit the mainstream media. Glenn Beck came close by alluding to Jesus’ second coming in a recent broadcast but even the weepy Fox News talk show host seemed to understand the ridiculousness of pinning natural disasters on the lapels of a group of people.
Honestly, I’m surprised more people haven’t blamed us for the Japanese calamity. Remember, it was Pat Robertson and the late Jerry Falwell who tried to convince their followers that our community (along with feminists and abortionists) caused the Al Qaeda attacks on Sept. 11. It was also those same two who said Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of punishing the city for hosting Southern Decadence, the overwhelmingly popular gay celebration held in the late summer.
Those arguments are just as ridiculous as my arguments here about reality television. It’s easy to make sense of chaos when you have people willing to hate someone or something so readily.
God, I would hope, has plenty to keep him (or her) busy. I’d like to think the Creator of the Universe is busiest now leading us to help those who are suffering after the earthquake rather than pointing fingers at mere mortals who have no control over the Earth’s natural fault lines.
I’m not a reality television fan, but I’m pretty confident God isn’t punishing us for last season’s The Bachelor. If only claims that gays were to blame for disasters were just as universally laughable, the world would be a much better place.
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