Screened Out – The Huntsman: Winter’s War

[two-star-rating]Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Emily Blunt, Jessica Chastain, Nick Frost, Liam Neeson[/two-star-rating]

Given that these movies are really only about effects, costumes, and fights – not good, solid, emotional storytelling – Winter’s War could’ve been worse. It also could’ve been much, much better.

Let’s start with the fact that everything is motivated when an ice queen, Freya (Blunt), bans love. She can control the weather (like Ice Man meets Game of Thrones) but she’s pretty stupid when it comes to human nature. She may steal people’s children and raise them as her own – into super-soldiers – but her ideas are so flimsy and her character so flat that even her subjects must laugh behind her neurotic back.

There’s a prologue, and an annoyingly obvious narrator (Neeson). He keeps popping in till I started wishing the ice queen would freeze his mouth shut.

He tells us that years earlier – before Snow White banished the evil queen Ravenna (Theron) – Ravenna was just waiting for her younger sister Freya to blossom into a magic-wielding badass. Freya is impregnated by a local courtier; she hopes to elope with him and live happily every after. Instead, the child is born and then the worst tragedy strikes, leading Freya to find her power. She then renounces love, moves up north, and starts a “kingdumb” of her own. She also institutes that goofy rule.

Hemsworth and Chastain are two of the children Freya stole and turned into warriors. Will they fall in love, despite the queen’s orders? Only people who’ve never seen a film before would ask this.

In fact, all of Winter’s War is pretty predictable, even down to the two supposed plot twists.

That meddling narrator then tells us that years later, Ravenna’s evil mirror is poisoning Snow White’s brain. So, it’s up to our heroes to take it away. When Freya hears, she decides to go back south and use the mirror to bring her sister back.

So, this is a prequel-sequel – which is the only unique thing about it.

For the most part, Winter’s War doesn’t know how ridiculous it is. The banishment of love is played with so much gravitas. At least some dwarves – including the always-funny Frost – add some levity. None of their jokes are original, but they do break up the fighting and romantic droopiness.

Films like Winter’s War keep getting made because they make a tidy profit. I also think that filmmakers assume that the combination of fairy tale and effects means that they shouldn’t make complicated characters or complex plots.

There are spots that shine. The visual effects are top-notch and interesting. Colleen Atwood’s costumes are weird and sumptuous. First-time director Cedric Nicolas-Troyan does film the fight scenes well. The art direction and set – headed by Steven Lawrence (Jungle Book, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Dark Knight) – are spectacular.

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Finally, the actors are all committed to this fractured fairy tale, which makes this better than 2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman. And at least the filmmakers gave us Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt instead of Kristen Stewart.

So, maybe there is a happy ending after all.