04.05.18 Central Florida Bureau Chief’s Desk

04.05.18 Central Florida Bureau Chief’s Desk

In many ways I’m just a big kid. Unless a collar shirt is forced upon me, you will almost always find me wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a t-shirt with some cartoon character or pop culture phrase on it.

If you ever have the chance to come by Watermark and sit in my office, you will be greeted by a shelf behind my desk that is littered with a Hillary Clinton action figure, a faux-Oscar, a Baby Groot doll, an Iron Man mask, Wonder Woman and Catwoman Funko Pop! toys and an array of knick knacks and trinkets—most of which were obtained from my monthly Loot Crate subscription or my occasional Happy Meal.

I err on the side of caution calling me a man with “Peter Pan Syndrome.” I feel that condition lends itself to men who can’t manage time or money, keep a dirty house and have their priorities skewed. Despite being a grown man who reads comics, watches cartoons and collects toys, I pride myself on keeping a mostly clean home, have built a less-than-stellar credit score back up to respectable numbers and know what matters most in this world.

Maybe it is my childlike wonder that makes me optimistic in this world and helps me to admire the youth today as they fight back against gun violence. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not an asshole. As of late a lot of so-called adults who I am suppose to be more like have taken to television and social media to attack teenagers who are tired of getting shot at when attending algebra and biology classes.

Fox News host, and real-life Grand High Witch, Laura Ingraham took to Twitter March 28 writing “David Hogg Rejected By Four Colleges To Which He Applied and whines about it.”

Hogg’s response? He posted a list of Ingraham’s top advertisers and asked his more than 700,000 followers to “Pick a number 1-12 contact the company next to that #.”

Advertisers began dropping like flies, which forced Ingraham to tweet an apology and then announce her show would be taking a week off. Bets are being taken whether she will even return, or if she does for how long?

After Ingraham stuck her foot in her tweet hole, the Crypt Keeper’s idiot redneck cousin, Ted Nugent, jumped into the fight. In an interview on a conservative radio program, NRA super fan Nugent called the students of Parkland High “mushy-brained children” and said “they have no soul.”

The kids went back to social media and jumped on Nugent, calling him out for is ignorant views on guns. This led Nugent to take to Facebook to whine and cry about “the left media” and their “fake news.”

The conservative D-list wasn’t done yet though. Frank Stallone (that’s not a typo, Frank Stallone is a real person. He’s the brother of the more successful Stallone, Sylvester) dragged himself out from the broom closest I’m guessing he has been living in to tweet about Hogg.

Old Frankie tweeted that Hogg “is getting a little big for his britches” and that someone needed to “sucker punch” him.

The pattern doesn’t change, an idiot adult says something dumb and the kids stand up to the bully leaving the bully to whine and cry. Frank did just that and a day later tweeted an apology saying he was “irresponsible” and “deeply ashamed.”

My pop culture mind always ties things back to movies and TV, so I can’t help but think of the 1991 film “Hook” as I watch these gutless conservative pirates spew hate-filled comments at the proverbial Lost Boys (and Girls) of Parkland.

For those who have not seen “Hook,” it is a sequel to “Peter Pan” in where a now all-grown up Peter has forgotten what it is like to be a kid. He goes back to Neverland to rescue his own kids after they are kidnapped by Captain Hook, and discovers that as you grow up you don’t have to become a stuffy adult who is a dick to children. Who knew?

I can’t help but think, as these adults throw out petty insults at children, it might be time to book that trip back to Neverland. Get back to those good ole days when you were bright-eyed and optimistic about the future. However you choose to reignite the love in your hearts do it quickly because the rest of us have work to do and are getting tired of you “adults” acting like little babies.

Speaking of Parkland, in this issue we look at the response to gun violence between Parkland and Pulse. We also check out LGBTQ films playing at the Florida Film Festival and take a look at the Marcel Duchamp exhibit at the Dali Museum.

In news, we look at Orlando’s response to the Pulse gunman’s wife being acquitted and chat with Dining Out for Life’s ambassador Pam Grier as the event heads to Tampa Bay.

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