It’s time for me to see a therapist. In fact, it’s long overdue. I don’t say this because something is wrong; therapy isn’t about having a problem. Really, everyone should see a therapist. It is sad to me that there is a negative connotation to doing so. Communication is so vital and that includes communicating with yourself.
I’ve been a couple of times in my life. My first visit was when I came out to my mom at the age of 16. She wanted to make sure we both had our heads wrapped around the concept of me being gay. The second was a result of my drinking problem, years before I admitted I had one. I had no-called, no-showed to work after a night of binge drinking and then headed back to the bar when I woke up at three in the afternoon. Hindsight’s 20/20, amiright?
Most of the time I find comfort in just saying whatever is bothering me out loud. When talking to a professional, I have the opportunity to speak with someone who harbors no bias toward me or my thoughts. I can be completely authentic and that is pretty good mental therapy in my book.
Perhaps with the help of a therapist I can find some reasoning behind why I seem to pick the path of most resistance in much of what I do. For example, I love to bake but refuse to use prepared foods even if the recipe calls for it, like box cake mixes or prepackaged icing. I will search for a recipe for that item and make it first, then carry on with the rest of the original instructions.
I’m also terrified of roller coasters but I have to ride them and I’m a gay, non-believer in a 12-step program centered on God. Most prevalent in my mind now is that I am a newspaper-publishing, hardcore liberal stuck in the mind of a centrist.
The last of these issues makes election seasons particularly painful for me. I know I’m not unique in that respect. I read the comment sections. Election cycles are painful for a lot of people, at least those in my TweetBook feed. I get it, though. Our human rights are being argued at the Supreme Court, a concept I struggle to understand. The centrist in me looks at the other side of that coin, where they are arguing for their interpretation of their faith, a concept they struggle to understand. Don’t get me wrong, I am acutely aware that the line is drawn when religious rights take away the rights of others. I just wonder if our society is in a place where we can have middle ground? Where religious liberties are met and discrimination is eradicated?
I long for a time when these decisions aren’t this or that, but rather this AND that. For example, can we have a constitutional right to own guns should we choose AND have laws that these guns need to be registered, licensed and come with a gun safety course? Can we disagree with a political ideology AND remain friends with those we disagree with? This topic was on the forefront of social media as the outrage du jour last week when a picture of friends Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush emerged.
I know nothing about their friendship and I choose not to judge it, as to do so would require great speculation on my part. What I can say is that the outrage against Ellen surprised me. Why can’t she be a champion of our community and a friend of George’s? Is there a scenario in which we can reach common ground on that?
I don’t have the answer, but I do know people are complicated. For me, that friendship does not define the good she has done for the LGBTQ community any more than my opinions define this paper; or any more than one article posted on our website defines the life work of Watermark. For me, I get to choose who I love and I let others choose their friends. For me, love conquers hate.
In this issue we have a special interview from our partners at the LGBT History Project. They spoke with Mayor Pete Buttigieg about his LGBTQ influences and his historic campaign for president. In addition we present a spooktacular look at all things Halloween in our In Depth section. Continuing with the ghoulish theme, we look at Orlando Ballet’s “Vampire’s Ball” and our Last Page features Embellish FX co-owner Ben Johansen.
We strive to bring you a variety of stories, your stories. I hope you enjoy this latest issue.