“Our nation was founded on a bedrock principle that we are all created equal,” President Barack Obama addressed the nation on the historical morning of June 26, 2015.
“The project of each generation is to bridge the meaning of those founding words with the realities of changing times, a never-ending quest to ensure those words ring true for every single American,” he continued. “Progress on this journey often comes in small increments, sometimes two steps forward, one step back, propelled by the persistent effort of dedicated citizens. And then sometimes, there are days like this when that slow, steady effort is rewarded with justice that arrives like a thunderbolt.”
That thunderbolt was the U.S. Supreme Court’s 5-4 ruling that every LGBTQ American had the legal right to marry the person they loved, ending the nation’s patchwork promise of equality for same-sex couples. Prior to that morning only 36 states, D.C. and Guam recognized marriage equality after lengthy legal battles, including Florida on Jan. 6, 2015.
The high court’s decision made it the law of the land, summarized by Justice Anthony Kennedy. “No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice and family,” he wrote in the court’s majority opinion.
“In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were,” he concluded. “They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.”
LGBTQ Americans have endured great losses and celebrated incredible victories in the five years since marriage equality, which has only strengthened our community and country. According to the Williams Institute, which advances public policy through independent research, more than half of the nation’s estimated 513,000 same-sex married couples have wed since that day – almost 293,000 people who have spent $3.2 billion on their weddings.
Their guests have been responsible for an additional $543.8 million in spending in our economy, with same-sex couples generating an estimated $244.1 million in state and local taxes. But the economic impact is nothing compared to the emotional reward so many have experienced in the days since.
“There’s so much more work to be done to extend the full promise of America to every American,” President Obama noted five years ago. “But today, we can say in no uncertain terms that we’ve made our union a little more perfect.”
To reflect on five years of marriage equality, Watermark reached out to a number of the Central Florida and Tampa Bay same-sex couples that shared their love stories with us in 2015. In these pages, the not-so-newlyweds discuss five years of proudly proving that love is love.
DAVID AND MIKE LEE-HOLLIS
Ages:
52 and 49
Where are you living now?
We split time between St. Petersburg, Florida and our cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina.
How long have you been together?
13 years.
Who made up your family when you were married five years ago?
Just the two of us.
How has your family changed in the last 5 years?
We now have our Cocker Spaniel, Sadie. She’s four.
What surprised you the most about being married?
The feeling of truly belonging to one another and being recognized as a family unit.
How has being married changed your relationship?
Our relationship has become stronger.
How did you celebrate your first and fifth anniversaries?
Our first was a trip to Ft. Lauderdale and our fifth was to our cabin in North Carolina.
What marriage advice would you give to a couple getting married today?
Be your spouse’s best friend and keep honesty as the basis for all communication.
ALBERTO AND GLENN MOLINA-COATS
Ages:
49 and 53
Where are you living now?
Tampa, Florida.
How long have you been together?
More than 21 years.
Who made up your family when you were married 5 years ago?
Us and two dogs, both passed away.
How has your family changed in the last 5 years?
It’s now us and one dog, a rescue.
What surprised you the most about being married?
Glenn’s mother, Barbara, lost her battle to stomach cancer in 2018. We became her caregivers and before she was diagnosed, we sold our homes and bought a home for all of us. Alberto would take Glenn’s mother to her chemo appointments. She would proudly call Alberto her son-in-law, without going into a long explanation on how we’re related.
Glenn had a colonoscopy prior to marriage equality and we needed a health care surrogate certificate and trust in case we needed Alberto to make medical decisions. After marriage equality our marriage licenses were all we needed. Filing joint taxes was another surprise, and when Alberto was laid off Glenn was able to add him to his employer’s medical coverage without question.
How has being married changed your relationship?
With being together for more than 15 years, our relationship has not changed. Purchasing our new home, it was validating to see us listed as a “married couple.” With our prior home we were listed as single men but were both treated equally in the decision process this time.
How did you celebrate your first and fifth anniversaries?
Our wedding from 16 years ago we celebrated in Miami. When finally recognized in 2015, we renewed our vows (11 years from our wedding date) in Miami again. Please understand, as far as we’re concerned it took the government 11 years to catch up to how we’ve been living. With us and to our family and friends we’ve been living as a married couple since our wedding in 2004 at Davis Island Garden club in Tampa, Florida.
What marriage advice would you give to a couple getting married today?
We would give the same advice to both opposite sex and same-sex couples: wait 3-5 years and get to know each other. Don’t rush into marriage. It’s a major milestone not to be taken lightly. Even after waiting to get married you will still learn things about each other and it’s a roller coaster. Be open to individual and couples therapy. It takes A LOT OF COMMUNICATION.
NICHOLAS CARDELLO AND KURT ENGLISH
Ages:
57 and 55
Where are you living now?
Brandon, Florida.
How long have you been together?
28 Years
Who made up your family when you were married 5 years ago?
Just us, no children or pets.
How has your family changed in the last 5 years?
We adopted a rescue cat for the first time. Two years after our “legal marriage” in Florida we participated in the 2017 National Equality March for Unity & Pride in D.C. We were excited to highlight discrimination we still face, call for expanding LGBTQ rights and also out of concern for the ramifications of the 2016 election.
This was an anniversary trip of sorts because we also participated in the March on Washington in 1993 when we had zero protections! The 1993 march was risky because we lobbied our representatives in D.C. and happened to appear on national television. We could have returned home from that trip only to find out we both had been fired from our jobs for being gay.
While we were at the March in 2017 we were encouraged to recreate a photo we took in 1993 at the National Mall. I posted the 1993 and 2017 photos side-by-side on my Facebook page around 11 p.m. from our hotel room in D.C. and by morning it had gone viral. Overnight it was shared all over the world, racking up more than one million likes in Brazil alone. Someone took the photo and reposted it on Twitter with the sarcastic caption “It’s just a phase” where it also went viral. Another person posting it to Reddit, where it reached number one and the national media picked up the story. We proceeded to do interviews from around the world for the next 30 days.
We worked with Equality Florida to ensure our message was on point: we celebrated the Obergefell ruling but we wanted to draw attention to the fact that the struggle was not over. We chose to use our brief moment in the spotlight to draw attention to the lack of federal work place protections and the disproportionate number of LGBTQ youth suicides.
What surprised you the most about being married?
We were pleasantly surprised how good it felt to fully participate in an institution that was solely reserved for opposite sex couples. We had been afforded legal standing in terms of rights and responsibilities, and recognition of our relationship in all aspects of life.
We were also delighted to introduce each other as husbands and no one could challenge that. We were married on the first day it was legal in Florida in a mass ceremony by Pat Frank in Tampa with 100 other couples. We applied for our license in Brandon and were amazed at the reception we received at the Clerk of the Court office. They were also a little disappointed we did not get married in Brandon.
How has being married changed your relationship?
There are laws protecting us and marriage benefits. Nick was able to get on Kurt’s health care plan through his employer.
How did you celebrate your first and fifth anniversaries?
This was our third commitment to each other over the 28 years we’ve been together. Our first ceremony was at our Brandon home in 1993 with about 30 family and friends. Then we got married “legally” in Boston in 2008 to secure federal rights, which allowed us to file joint tax returns and amend three years of back returns which saved enough money over three years to buy a new car. Can you imagine how much we have overpaid taxes in the 20 years prior?! Finally we had the most recent wedding in Tampa in 2015. We also celebrate the day we met in 1992. We have so many anniversaries that our family doesn’t know when to send us an anniversary card!
What marriage advice would you give to a couple getting married today?
Be patient with each other. Focus on what you have in common and compromise on your differences. Celebrate each other’s successes and strive to bring your best self to your relationship each day. Take an interest in each other’s hobbies and interests even if they may not be your own, you may learn something new. Don’t let finances become a barrier, we combined finances the first year we were together so we never had to have the discussion who’s paying for the bill!
Finally, commit to having an attitude of gratitude for each other, because after 28 years life is moving faster than either of us had wished for. We both met in our 20’s during the peak of the AIDS Crisis and we are now in our 50’s in the midst of a COVID-19 pandemic. We have lost several family members on both sides and realize there are no guarantees how long we will have together. Make every day count!
ROBBY PIGOTT AND JIM HARRISON
Ages:
We’re both 51, but Jim is four days older.
Where are you living now?
We’re still in Orlando, Florida.
How long have you been together?
29 years, 30 on April 13, 2021.
Who made up your family when you were married 5 years ago?
Just the two of us besides our own relatives.
How has your family changed in the last 5 years?
It’s still just the two of us.
What surprised you the most about being married?
Robby: Not really a surprise, but it was comforting to know that we were LEGALLY “next of kin” after so many years!
Jim: That nothing changed.
How has being married changed your relationship?
Robby: It hasn’t at all. I can’t even ever remember our Jan. 6th anniversary! I always just say 4/13/91, our first date and the day I knew we’d be together forever.
Jim: It has not at all.
How did you celebrate your first and fifth anniversaries?
Robby: I probably wouldn’t have known if my mom hadn’t sent us a “Happy Anniversary” message on Facebook the first year. For our fifth, Jim was in Texas doing a gig and I was working. The fact that it’s the same as “Three Kings Day” (not that I celebrate it, but I’m aware it’s a thing) is helping me remember now.
What marriage advice would you give to a couple getting married today?
Robby: For us, the biggest key to success has been complete honesty. We never fight. We genuinely love being around each other, and we respect the fact that time away from each other is sometimes necessary and absolutely acceptable.
Jim: I would say make sure that you want to be with that person forever because it’s too complicated to separate once you’re legally married.
ABBY AND RACHEL SILVERMAN
Ages:
35 and 41
Where are you living now?
We are still living in Orlando, Florida.
How long have you been together?
We’ve been together for 11 years, married for five years.
Who made up your family when you were married 5 years ago?
It was just us and our two Australian Shepherds, Ollie and Phineas.
How has your family changed in the last 5 years?
Just this year, Rachel gave birth to our first child, Leo. He was born May 2, 2020 and we couldn’t be more in love with him. Ollie and Phineas are still here too, trying to figure out who this new tiny human is!
What surprised you the most about being married?
Abby changed her last name after the wedding and took Rachel’s. It was a surprise to her how much she enjoyed being referred to as “The Silvermans.” It’s fun to check into a hotel or go to an event and hear it.
How has being married changed your relationship?
As simple as it sounds, the feeling of permanence was a change. Our relationship just felt different, in a way that wasn’t tangible
but was very real. There was a new legitimacy to our relationship that felt grounding.
How did you celebrate your first and fifth anniversaries?
For our first wedding anniversary went spent a long weekend at a beautiful hotel right on the beach. We slept in, we ate seafood and we enjoyed the sound of waves as we slept. For our fifth anniversary, Rachel was eight months pregnant so we decided to stay home and enjoy our last anniversary as just the two of us. We ordered take out and spent the weekend watching movies in bed.
What marriage advice would you give to a couple getting married today?
Get the oyster bar, greet all your guests with champagne and invite all your people to share your moment. Your people are more important than the flowers or decor. It’s the one day where everyone gets to celebrate your relationship, soak up as much of it as you can!
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