This year, I am blessed once again to have the opportunity to share my thoughts and recommendations with you at Watermark Out News.
When I started this column last year, it would never have occurred to me that I would write a column where the main message would be that sometimes, it might be better just not to react. Not everything deserves a reaction, sometimes it is okay to step back and focus inward.
It is undeniable that recent events in the state and federal governments have left many people in our community feeling frustrated, scared and upset. Between social media, the regular media and word of mouth, it feels like we are hearing a fresh batch of disappointing news every hour on the hour.
We might feel the urge to respond to every post, every headline, every text message, and every conversation with an elevated level of outrage and fury, but that is not sustainable nor healthy in the long run. Furthermore, there are bad actors who might bait you and trigger you on purpose, draining your energy as much as they can.
I will never advocate for sitting down and doing nothing in the face of injustice, but there must be a balance for our own mental health and plentiful living. We cannot spend our whole day constantly reacting to negative stimuli, as sooner or later you will feel burned out.
There must come a moment in the day when we put our phone down, turn the 24/7 news channel off and focus on recharging our joy. Let’s be less reactive to the cacophony around us and more proactive to looking after our essential needs as queer human beings.
I consider joy to be one of our most essential needs. Now more than ever, we need to guard and prioritize our joy against everything happening around us. Think about your happy place, think about what brings you simple and authentic joy; make sure you build that into your daily schedule. It might be a daily phone call with a family member, playing that videogame you bought months ago but have barely explored, cooking yourself a delicious and satisfying meal, meeting a few friends at your local queer bar, putting your favorite album on and dancing around your home, going on a nice nature walk, or rewatching your favorite comfort show for the millionth time.
Be intentional and purposeful when it comes to finding and cultivating your joy every single day.
Sister Wanda Ita Schrüm, one of my sacred siblings from the Tampa Bay Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, shared with me that she finds joy in meditation. She told me: “Meditation can be an extremely vital practice during times of great trouble. By sitting with our thoughts, we can cultivate a deeper awareness of our own mind. Through this deeper awareness, we can regulate our emotions, respond more clearly to stressful situations, and better tune the mind and body to each other.”
Meditation can help remind you of what is truly important and of what is worth your time and attention. I encourage you to give it a try. If you don’t know where to start, you can even find meditation videos prepared by Sister Wanda on YouTube.
You know what’s the other great thing about joy? Joy is a form of resistance. When somebody is against you, there is nothing that will upset them more than seeing you living your best life full of joy and purpose.
Local artist and charity organizer John Gascot reminded me of this recently. He told me: “In these trying times, focus on keeping authentic joy alive. They hate our joy. Our joy is our resistance.” This resonated immensely with me. What is a more positive reaction than insisting on cultivating joy every single day?
The other need I consider to be essential, especially for queer people, is community. We face distinct challenges and obstacles which often can only be understood by others who have also gone through the same situations. It can feel like our society is not designed to address our particular needs and to provide the specific tools we need to succeed; that is why we need community because we have to make things happen for us and for each other.
We must be able to depend on each other. This is why the concepts of a “chosen family,” “LGBTQ+ family,” “drag family” and more are so prevalent in our community. For many queer people, that is the only family they have. Let’s look out for everyone in our community, lend a helping hand, a friendly ear, a warm hug, a tasty meal, or just the comfort of quiet company so that nobody feels alone.
The road to progress is not a straight line. It goes up and down, left and right, but in the end, it always bends toward justice. If you have the time and the means, join active queer groups that are fighting injustice and claiming space and dignity for the local LGBTQ+ community. But take care of yourself first. We need you physically and mentally healthy so that we can prevail — and we will, in fact, prevail. It’s what we do.
Sister Juana Reaction is an educator by both vocation and training. As a fully professed member of the Tampa Bay Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, she spreads joy at local queer events and helps with fundraising for many local charities.
