I, like many of you, find it hard to get through the day lately. I know we have to stay informed but sometimes it’s hard to watch or listen to the news.
Reports have surfaced of the gay hairdresser, known as Andry, who was deported to El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center then shaved and beaten without due process. A gay Venezuelan who opposed the Venezuelan president detained because of tattoos — who was legally in America. It was reported that while he was being beaten in prison he was crying, exclaiming that he was a gay hairdresser and not a gang member.
Let him be a lesson to us all. Will my gayness, tattoos and opposition to the American president land me in prison one day?
It isn’t just the national news that is tough lately. I got news of a dear friend who lost his partner of 17 years. My heart breaks for his loss.
The other night I ran into an old friend and ex-boyfriend. He was wandering the streets where he has been living for months. He was a little dirtier, with a longer beard than the last time I saw him there. He seemed oblivious to the addiction that landed him where he is and uninterested in any meaningful assistance. My heart breaks for him and his family so desperate to hear from him.
How do you get through times like this, when the days wear you down? I’ll let you in on a little trick I learned in a certain 12-step program, it’s called an attitude of gratitude. I know it sounds trivial, but it helps. You think of 10 things that you are grateful for. It doesn’t take away the hurt, but it helps you realize that the hurt isn’t all that exists in the world.
Here are my 10 things I am grateful for.
First and foremost is my husband, Dylan. He is my person. Lately I have been pulled in many directions with events and conferences, and I don’t get to spend as much time with him as I want, but I am so grateful to have him in my life. He is funny, kind, smart and beautiful.
I am grateful to have my best friend, Jen. I feel she bears the brunt of my negativity at times, yet she is always there to encourage me and laugh at my stupid sense of humor. We have cohabitated for over 30 years and I can’t imagine these hard times without her.
Every time I drive back and forth from Orlando to St. Pete, I have the privilege of calling my mom. I am grateful to have her in my life. She was my best friend growing up and has been my strongest champion ever since.
This next one counts for two: I am grateful to be able to play softball at 50 and do it well enough. The second part of that is I get to play with my brother, Jason. He is one of the best men, fathers and wisest people I know. He is always willing to lend a hand when I have some crazy home improvement project that I am completely incapable of doing.
Next on the list are Amber Atkins and Rebecca Ann Lehman — my dogs, not the “Drop Dead Gorgeous” characters. For a dog lover there is nothing more joyous than coming home and having your babies be so excited to see you. It makes any day a good day.
I am grateful for my job. It’s hard and requires a lot, but it’s meaningful and it gives me purpose. I am grateful for those who came before me, who mentored me and who trusted me to carry on this important work.
I am grateful for my community. That includes my community of co-workers who care as much about Watermark Out News and the work we do as much as I do. It also includes the community we cover, the brave people who become activists because they exist. It isn’t easy, but it is important.
Any list of what is great about my life wouldn’t be complete without the music of Air Supply. Like me, they celebrate 50 years this year and I am grateful I can see so much of the band whose music has meant so much to me for most of my life.
Finally, I am grateful to be sober. Without sobriety I would not have the things on this list, nor would I be able to enjoy them.
Stay visible, stay strong and support each other.
