[three-star-rating]Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline, Mary Steenburgen[/three-star-rating]
Last Vegas is being pitched as The Hangover for the AARP set. I’d sure like to say this film is better than that reductive description. It’s chock full of great actors, but the story they’re trapped in swings wildly between being emotionally engaging and embarrassingly infantile.
I imagine the Hollywood conversation went something like this:
“Hey, I have an idea! Let’s make a film with five Oscar-winning older actors. We’ll set it in someplace fun, like Vegas! And have the characters say and do lots of entertaining, sexist and slightly humiliating things! Audiences will love it!”
“OK, but to attract that kind of talent, you realize we’ll also have to write one or two scenes with real emotion and complexity.”
“Yeah, yeah, but just one or two moments, don’t kill the fun!”
Last Vegas assumes that its customer is slightly dumb. Robert De Niro gets face-humped by a Speedo-wearing member of the band LMFAO. Kevin Kline is completely befuddled by drag queens. Morgan Freeman gets drunk on Red Bull and vodka. Douglas points out that his obvious dye-job is called “Hazelnut.”
Of course, since this is Vegas, there are also bikini contests, hotel room parties, and bar brawls.
The plot is pretty shallow. Douglas is obsessed with remaining young; on a whim, he proposes to a 30-something at a funeral. (Sexy!) He’s never been married before, playing the field up until now, so he calls his childhood buddies together for a wild bachelor party in Sin City.
The only bit of depth here is De Niro; he has become a shut-in after the recent death of his wife. He’s basically dragged to the desert, still nurturing a longstanding grudge against Douglas. De Niro finds his first sign of oasis in jazz singer Mary Steenburgen. (She’s simply wonderful in a seriously underwritten role. She’s the single reason this film deserves a three-star rating.)
Weirdly enough, none of these great actors have ever worked together. In that sense, Last Vegas is actually fascinating. They seem to enjoy themselves. Their jokes aren’t all about Viagra and dentures; hopefully, we’ve come to realize those clichés have ceased being funny.
[rating-key]
Given that Last Vegas vacillates between juvenile fun and serious pathos, I don’t think anyone will be surprised by the big plot twist. Even if it isn’t surprising, it’s a whopper. It just comes so late in the film. If the filmmakers had more faith in their audience, this would have happened much earlier, requiring the actors to dig their way out. Instead, any real conflict is handled too briefly, and then the film ends.
If you choose to see this, you’ll leave having felt like you enjoyed yourself, but you won’t remember anything the next morning. You’ll be out some cash. You’ll also see lots of awesome, older people, but only one (Steenburgen) will linger in your compromised memory. In those ways, metaphorically, Last Vegas a lot like a typical reckless weekend in Sin City.
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