Dear Truth,
I just moved to Orlando from out west (one of the square states) and I’m having a really hard time meeting quality single guys. It seems that all the men I meet here are either: (a) in a relationship, (b) just visiting, or (c) interested in only one thing—sex. I’m not a prude by any means (I’ve done my share of “hooking up”), but I want to find a guy to hang out with and then, if the chemistry’s right, possibly a boyfriend.
I’m a decent looking guy with a good job, and I work out so I’m in pretty good shape. But it seems that all the local guys either lie about being married or say whatever they think you want to hear to get you in bed.
What do I have to do to find a good man in Central Florida?
—New In Town
Dear Meat,
First I’ll defend my beautiful hometown. I think it’s easy to come into a new situation, where things look and feel different, and make sweeping generalizations about how a particular area of the country is affecting your dating life. You just haven’t found the untapped vein of available men that you apparently knew back in your square state.
That said, I do understand your point. Orlando is a stopping point for many people, and therefore the population tends to be very young or very old. And the hospitality industry tends to attract party types who love to have their fun. But that doesn’t mean that what you seek isn’t out there. It really is about what you put out yourself.
It’s up to you to be creative. Did you know that your new city has very active LGBT softball and bowling leagues, for example? The Internet can also help you coax out those who are like minded. Online services get a bad wrap, but if you’re forthcoming about what you want, you just might find it. Here comes the Truth, baby: In this day and age, in a city as large and gay-friendly as Orlando, to say you’re not finding what you want means you’re not looking hard enough.
Dear Truth,
My girlfriend Tanya and I met in college six years ago. My family has basically adopted Tanya as their daughter. Tanya’s family, however blames me for their daughter “choosing” to be a lesbian. Both of our families have supported us financially from time to time, although my family has given us about three times as much as Tanya’s.
When I moved in with Tanya three years ago, we started splitting the house payments and all the bills equally. But I got laid off a few months ago. Since then Tanya’s family has called her almost daily, telling her she’s going to lose the house and go bankrupt because of me. It’s starting to sink in. Tanya now barely talks to me, except to say that I need to figure out how I’m going to pay my share.
I’m worried that Tanya will start listening to her family and break up with me. I feel like she is forgetting all the wonderful years we have together, not to mention the money that my family gave us. What do I do?
—Money Problems
Dear Mo’ Family, Mo’ Problems,
You say you’re worried Tanya will start listening to her family? Honey, that ship has already sailed. She’s your lover and you live together, yet she barely speaks to you except to harangue you about your share of the bills? Yeah, the knives are out and they’re pointed at you.
It’s troubling that Tanya allows her family to influence her thinking to such an extent. But worse is the seeming absence of a serious, adult conversation about what the two of you are going to do about your financial crisis. Have you sat down together to go through your bills? Made a budget? Discussed options? It sounds like you have not.
If I’m following the timeline accurately, you’re both in your late 20s. It’s time to grow up and start acting like adults, and like a real couple. You need to come to the table with some creative solutions, and she needs to stop allowing her family to run her life. The consequences of your current path are exactly as you fear: she’ll be gone.
