Another night out with my best friend, Dan, the poet/ screenwriter; “the next Great writer of our time” as he calls himself. Over cocktails, I was playing therapist. I had just finished one of those non-self-help books from one of my favorite writers, Brad Gooch, which had turned me into a preacher of sorts. I was ranting about creative dating and my “Inner B” aka: my Boyfriend Within, whom I had met while reading Gooch’s book, Finding The Boyfriend Within.
“I broke up with my Inner B a long time ago,” Dan joked. “He didn’t meet my standards.”
I was putting my psychology skills to work and doing mental exercises on Dan. One of which was to list things you want to change about your life in order to find the right companion. At the time, Dan was seeing a guy who was already living with his long-term boyfriend.
“I think I should do a mental check-list when it comes to potential suitors,” he listed. “For example, are they dating somebody already?”
We laughed. But it made me wonder, what are the deal breakers?
I always assumed they were things like being a drinker, a smoker or having a crappy job. But this is a whole new era of dating. We’ve learned to be more realistic and in some cases, pickier. But if someone you’re seeing is already committed, and that’s not enough of a deal-breaker, then what is?
I decided to put my new found research to test. With my Inner B in tow, I decided to light a fire under an acquaintance of mine, Stephen. He was an older, buff, ruggedly handsome architect. We had been admiring each other from afar and I figured a little assertiveness was all he needed. It paid off. Stephen asked me out to dinner at a swanky bistro.
Dinner went flawlessly. Who knew this “creative dating/stepping outside your comfort zone” stuff really worked? When the check arrived, I pretended not to notice. I wasn’t about to pay. After all, he asked me out; and to a pricey restaurant, no less. As time passed, the check sat ominously untouched, so I decided to be a tad brazen. I reached for a roll, nonchalantly moving the check over to his side of the table.
Stephen clearly caught my drift, picked up the bill, then reached down to pull out his wallet. “Oh, no,” he stated. “I can’t believe I forgot my wallet.”
His tone was so insincere that I raised one eyebrow. He had also failed to realize that I saw him arrive in and pay for a taxi. I was shocked that someone who was so intelligent and successful was a cheap-ass as well!
Since we were in a posh environment, I didn’t want to be tacky, so I smiled and said I’d take care of it. I grabbed the bill, discreetly placed enough money to cover my meal plus tip then placed it back on the table.
“Thank you so much,” he offered.
I smirked. “Would you excuse me? I have to use the restroom.” I walked towards the front of the restaurant, where they were located and instead walked right out the front door. Someone would be doing dishes to cover their meal…
***Check back to see what happened next, in Part 2 of Fire Down Below: “Deal Breakers.”
