Gay Catholics have three options to follow on their spiritual journey. They can dance, albeit with a partner that does not particularly like them or even want to dance in the first place; they may seek out a new dance partner; or they can simply elect to sit out the dance all together.
Each option works at least part of the time for some of the people, but there are downsides to each option, too.
An Unwilling Partner
Practicing Roman Catholics are quick to say that just being gay isn’t a sin in their eyes—or in Rome’s, for that matter. It’s when gay people start to put their orientation into action that the problems arise. The church remains steadfast in its conviction that sex is for procreation and that it should never be practiced outside the bounds of a sacred union between a man and a woman, which is blessed by the church and defined as marriage. So gay sex is out, even if it’s within the boundaries of an officially state sanctioned marriage like those afforded to some in states like Iowa or Massachusetts or even in our nation’s capital.
Gays are welcome, even encouraged, to attend mass, but if they are not living a celibate life they are not eligible to take communion. However, many modern Catholics seem to think that’s a matter of individual conscience and a personal relationship with God.
“Once you are baptized as a Catholic you are always a Catholic,” says Collyn Locamy, youth minister at Most Holy Name Catholic Church in Gulfport, Fla. “The church may try and change gay people through its institutions, but I personally think those issues are ones that need to be settled between the individual and God without the church’s interference.”
Courage, the only officially church-sanctioned organization, which ministers to the LGBT community was endorsed by the Pontifical Council for the Family and Pope John Paul II. That outreach, however, says that practicing a life of chastity is the only church-sanctioned way for homosexuals to stay in good graces with the church.
For many, the idea of a sexless life is not an acceptable alternative. Fortunately, another alternative sect of Catholicism can be found in Dignity.
Dignity believes that LGBTs can express their sexuality in a manner that is consonant with Christ’s teaching; and they can express their sexuality physically, in a manner that is loving, life-giving, and life-affirming.
While never an officially sanctioned Roman Catholic organization, Dignity has a number of parishes following its beliefs.
“Many of our original members were in the generation ahead of me, which meant they were in their 70s and 80s,” said Bart Coyle, 62, who founded the now inactive Sarasota chapter of Dignity. “Our members were very used to living their lives in the closet so it was kind of a big deal to them to even get involved with an organization like this.”
Many LGBT Catholics had never lived openly, thanks to a 1986 letter published by Joseph Ratzinger, who is now known as Pope Benedict XVI. His letter forbade Catholic congregations from providing meeting spaces to any sect that were deemed incompatible with traditional Catholic teachings.
Dignity serves two purposes, according to Coyle.
“First, we offer a place where gay people can practice their Catholicism without fear of judgment and secondly we act as an advocacy organization,” he says. “Most of these older people tend to think of themselves as Catholic first and then gay, while I think with younger people it’s the other way around.”
Coyle also helped to found GAIN, the Gulfcoast Affirming Interfaith Network, an association of open and affirming congregations in the Sarasota/ Bradenton area.
“The problem with many people who stay in the church is one of conscience like what I found happened to me,” said Coyle. “I had a clear conscience about my personal relationship with God, but I couldn’t abide putting money into an alter plate that I knew was going to go to anti-gay measures and socially irresponsible choices. At that point I had to leave the church.”
Dignity also has chapters in Tampa Bay and Orlando.
A new dance partner
For some, choosing between leading a celibate lifestyle and facing condemnation proves to be too much. Many LGBT Catholics strike out on a spiritual journey that may lead them to explore a number of other faiths before settling on a new home away from Catholicism. Many seek homes in affirming congregations like the Quakers, Unitarians, Unity, Metropolitan Community Churches and the United Church of Christ.
“We try to be an eclectic blend of styles and traditions so that regardless of the religion of your upbringing, you’ll find some element of our service you can relate to, including Catholicism,” says Candace Shultis, head pastor at the King of Peace MCC in St. Petersburg.
Ed Hotchkiss, clerk of the St. Petersburg Quakers says many members of his congregation are former Catholics.
“Our meeting also welcomes people from all walks of life and religious backgrounds and we have many gay and lesbian members who are important, engaged and valued deeply by our Meeting,” he says.
While some LGBT Catholics leave the faith all together, some gravitate to the lesser known Ecumenical Catholic Church, which is a separate denomination within the Universal Christian Church.
The ECC follows the basic Christian beliefs and ordains men and women, regardless of sexual orientation. The ECC also performs same-sex weddings.
“Sexuality needs to be seen as part of a spiritually fit whole,” says Pastor Steve Rosczewski, head priest at Holy Spirit Ecumenical Catholic Church in Largo. “Saying to gay people that they need to be celibate is like saying God gave us this wonderful gift in sex, but we have to put it up on a shelf and never play with it. I spent 12 years as a Roman Catholic priest before I became a priest in the ECC church. It was hard because I had to give up my pension and retirement, but the ministry has been worth it.
“I have no regrets. In the ECC church, we take the documents and thinking that came out of the Vatican II very seriously. We believe that God reveals himself to different people in different ways, all of which are valid, including the many ways he speaks to gay people.”
Rosczewski and his partner of 10 years are actively engaged with their congregation. The ECC church performs Holy Sacraments of Marriage for same-sex couples, and Rosczewski and his partner have married and are considered husbands by their congregation.
There are only 35 ECC churches nationwide, and only three in Florida.
There are some who have simply left organized religion entirely, many feeling disenfranchised by the religion of their youth and yet not quite comfortable in other spiritual homes either.
“For sure it is tempting to bash the Church and I do a fair amount of that myself,” Coyle admits. “But when you really define ‘the Church’ it is not the hierarchy, it is the people and I know too many who do so many good things.”
