I’m in my 30s, I live more than 1,000 miles away from my hometown and I have a somewhat strained relationship with my family since coming out of the closet more than a decade ago.
But like clockwork, my parents ask me for a list of things I want them to ship my way for Christmas. Never mind they usually request this list in August, when I’m more focused on the beach and rising air conditioning costs than decorating the house with twinkle lights.
When I was a kid it was easy to create a list. I’d simply get on the floor, open up the newest Sears or JC Penney catalogue and start circling every bright-colored new toy I thought would make a nice addition to my closet. In high school I focused more on video games (the original Nintendo will always be close to my heart) and clothes.
As a cash-strapped college student I wanted money under the Christmas tree. When my mother complained that Christmas just wasn’t Christmas without wrapped packages dedicated to yours truly, my solution was simple. “Put money in a box, wrap it, and put it under the tree.”
Today, as an adult with a real job, creating the annual list is harder than ever. Sure, I need new shoes, so why not throw that on the list. Should I mention that new pair of jeans I’d never buy for myself? Yeah, I probably will. And those who know me well know I can’t have too many tank tops or T-shirts.
There are so many things I want for Christmas this year that I know my parents just can’t give me. But part of the whole holiday season is built on wishes anyway, right? So I figure, what harm could it possibly do to put out a blatant plea for the five things I most want for Christmas, no matter how unlikely my chances are of receiving them?
So with the realization that the non-commercial items below are probably unavailable or completely out of stock, I humbly request the following for Christmas 2010:
5. Community partnerships that actually work. I understand the basics of capitalism and that monopolies can be bad. But why do we need several different organizations fighting for the exact same goal of LGBT equality? Isn’t that like having two churches sitting across the street from each other and preaching the exact same message while declaring their path to God is better than the other’s?
4. Fox News to go off the air. How many more years of the network’s slanted journalism tactics can the folks at Fox continue to sell as “fair and balanced?” Anything progressive is presented as a negative, and with commentators like Sarah Palin (who’s popularity still befuddles me) and hosts like Brit Hume (who looks like Droopy from the old Looney Toons cartoons) I don’t see it getting much better. By the way, I realize that MSNBC is also slanted to the left, but that doesn’t bother me. After all, this is my list.
3. The phrase, “That’s so gay,” to finally fade away. I’ve never understood that sentence as an insult. Grammatically it just doesn’t make sense but the confusing jumble of words continues to do irreparable harm to LGBT youth.
2. The Supreme Court to rule that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional. The amendment that California voters approved in 2008 claiming that marriage is solely a right for one man and one woman is dated, bigoted and downright wrong. The National Organization for Marriage has staked a claim in the battle and continues to argue that same-sex marriages hurt the fundamentals of marriage, yet they can never provide any proof. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
1. The repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” The studies are completed, the reports are filed and the brass has presented the findings to Congress. So what’s the hold up? Well, namely, John McCain. Enough already. Let our proud men and women who happen to be gay continue to protect the United States and stop focusing on the small-mindedness of the minority.
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