Some heterosexual U.S. couples who postponed their weddings until gay couples had the right to marry are now making plans to say “I do.”
Celebrities like Brangelina, Lena Dunham and Kristen Bell all vowed not to marry until gay marriage was legal, though none has rushed to announce wedding dates. Instead, it’s ordinary people who are following through on their pledges. Here are a few of their stories.
“I’m not getting married till everyone can.”
Staci Dennett, 25, is white. Her fiance, Nadir Karim, 25, is black. “Forty-six years ago, we couldn’t have gotten married in the South, just because of our skin color,” said Dennett, who compares the ban on interracial marriage to laws against gay marriage. “It blows my mind!”
Dennett says she agreed with Angelina Jolie’s stand and told Karim the same thing: “I’m not going to get married until everyone can.”
Then in June, the U.S. Supreme Court wiped away part of a federal anti-gay marriage law, and Dennett and Karim, who’ve been together five years, started planning their big day. The celebration will be in November.
A moral objection
Debbie Ma, 32, a social psychology professor, didn’t set a wedding date with her partner of 10 years, Peter Tassinario, 41, until after the court ruling.
“I had moral objections to being part of something that makes part of our population feel like they’re not full citizens,” Ma said. “For me, it feels very inconsistent to study things like discrimination and prejudice and then participate in a system that is actively discriminatory.”
How did her fiance feel about putting off marriage? “He’s a man! He was fine not to have a wedding,” Ma said with a laugh, adding that he was “very supportive.” They finally set a date for November.
“I had seen their fight.”
Dan McCrory and Terry Haley have been together for 11 years. McCrory is a board member of the Stonewall Democratic Club, a progressive political group with a focus on issues of importance to the gay community.
“Because of my longtime involvement in the club, a lot of these people are my friends,” said McCrory. “I didn’t feel right getting married if my friends couldn’t. I had seen their fight, had seen how much this issue meant to them.”
He says Haley “teased me about it,” jokingly wondering if it was an excuse to avoid commitment. “But I think she knew it was because I wanted to do the right thing.”
Haley was thrilled when an old friend and her partner were the first couple to wed in West Hollywood after the court ruling. A few days later, McCrory proposed.
And the celebrities?
The court ruling prompted actress Kristen Bell to tweet to her fiance Dax Shepard: “@daxshepard1 will you marry me? Xo #marriageequality #loveislove.” Bell’s spokeswoman Sarah Fuller said they have not set a date.
Lena Dunham, star and creator of HBO’s “Girls,” whose boyfriend is fun. band member Jack Antonoff, also tweeted after the court decision: “No one be shocked if I get married and pregnant with a daughter today in a slightly premature fit of joy #americathebeautiful.” Dunham’s representative did not respond to a query on a wedding date.
No word on nuptials from Angelina Jolie, either, despite her fiance Brad Pitt telling The Hollywood Reporter last year they were in a hurry: “We made this declaration some time ago that we weren’t going to do it till everyone can. But I don’t think we’ll be able to hold out.”
