“I’m mad as hell and I am not going to take it anymore,” the film Network’s Howard Beale spit into the ether in the foggy 1970s pixilation of televised news via cinema. This is not the 1970s. This, Uprisings, is not your standard news column about the comings and goings of political figures in power suits, nor is it that stick in that yellowing mud that would direct you into the warm embrace of comatose electoral futility. This is not something to scream about from the window in your chosen alley. This, instead, is a party.
Say what you want about the impending election season – that it is terrible, or terrible, or maybe it’s more terrible, because mine is better than yours and yours is super terrible – but if there’s anything we’ve learned about presidential election cycles (replete with congressional and municipal leanings), it’s that no matter how terrible it might seem, disengagement is worse. We could go through the motions of the Bush v. Gore decision that landed on former Gov. Jeb Bush’s nose like a dime; we could talk about Sen. Marco Rubio’s inexplicable immigration dance and the Florida House term that brought it; we could laugh about dancing, Dancing, DANCING!
And we will.
But we will also do our best to walk the sort of balance beam that allows both overexertion and mild regret as we, ourselves, dance through the 2015 and 2016 elections that line the road before us. There are candles. They are in bags full of sand (Sanders?). We are dancing.
To be clear, this column comes with a voice, and it is largely the voice of this editor. We’re trying, as we always have, to make issues of the day ring with a certain tone of reverberating engagement. The LGBT movement didn’t stop with the Tiffany ring and the tear-stained promises of forever. But this movement need not stop laughing, either. Heavens, no.
In fact, the LGBT movement, as all movements for political and social justice, exists in the realm of the in-between – some people get theirs and then they move on. Some people like the “Golden Girls,” some hold hands with Larry Kramer.
So, we’ll make it fun. We promise to be terrible whenever terrible is required, but we also promise to stand and smile when that is required. We’re also going to make up words, clash infinitives and make a grammatical mess ourselves, all while speaking in the second person. This week, as with many of the (every other) weeks in the future, we’re drawing the hopscotch sidewalks of political announcements, at our own peril. Some candidates are more serious than others, but who are to judge?
OK, we’re here to judge. Welcome to Uprisings. We’re not as mad as we seem. Come on in. The water’s fine. The only way is up.
On July 9, at downtown’s swanky the Abbey, Carlos Guillermo Smith made his fundraising launch for Florida House District 49, which wobbles around the University of Central Florida. Smith chairs the Orange County Democratic Executive Committee and worked as former Rep. Joe Saunders’ aide in the same district. Torch. Passed.
“My name is Carlos Guillermo Smith and I’m a progressive, liberal Democrat running for the Florida House of Representatives,” Smith said. “Tonight is not just the official start of a new journey but the result of years of personal investment that many of you had made in me.”
Randy strikes back
Because some fights in mirrors are never over, local gadabout and sometimes challenger of the law (allegedly and admittedly) Randy Ross has announced that, instead of running for Mayor of Orlando, something he hilariously announced earlier this year, he is going to try to test his mettle against Orlando District 4 Commissioner Patty Sheehan. His filing for the race is official, which should make all spectators feel a little more excited about the municipal circus awaiting us later this year. Spirit fingers! Hotpants!
Grayson heads for U.S. Senate
If worst-kept secrets were ever actually kept, we wouldn’t know already that U.S. Rep Alan Grayson, D-SAYS ANYTHING HE WANTS, would announce last week that he is joining the Democratic primary for U.S. Senate in order to replace everybody’s favorite hairline, Sen. Marco Rubio. The crisis — sheer panic, we says — within the Democratic party is that he’s running against yawning moderate from Jupite, U.S. Rep Patrick Murphy. Website Politico.com is positively chomping at the bit on this one, predicting that it will cause the new Great Schism between progressive and moderate Democrats. Both former President Bill Clinton and former astronaut U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson have already fallen in line behind Murphy, so the concerns aren’t necessarily unfounded. However, who doesn’t love a good primary? Also, Murphy is a former Republican, so this could get interesting.
Oh, Susannah!
Grayson’s District Director Susannah Randolph, wife of Orange County Tax Collector Scott Randolph, announced her giant step for womankind this week, throwing her hat into the ring for her boss’ seat in the U.S. Congress. Randolph faces, somewhat awkwardly, former Young Democrats pal Florida Sen. Darren Soto in the race for a seat at the demographically Hispanic table. More schisms! “My whole life, I’ve had a long history as a fighter for equality and fairness for everyone in Central Florida, regardless of who you are or where you came from. And I will continue to fight for everyone to have a shot at fairness in this country,” she says, adding that given any attempts to roll back equality will be met with her metaphorical hammer. “I’ll fight it tooth and nail. I have always supported marriage equality, always will. A House can’t talk; a family can.”
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