I don’t know which genius opted to name a size of children’s blue jeans “husky,” but I do know that in the fourth grade I had to wear them. It does wonders for a kid’s self-esteem.
It was the year that my parents and I moved, resulting in a new elementary school mid-year for my husky-clad self. In hindsight, it was the best move my parents could’ve made for our family. At the time, however, I drowned my sorrows in Snapple—likely resulting in an even huskier pair of jeans by the end of the year.
To make matters even worse, we’d moved just a few months before Valentine’s Day. That meant that I’d have the opportunity to pick out a box of 20-something cards laced in 1990’s pop culture to give to my new class, something that most kids were thrilled with. Giving and receiving cards was an event in elementary school, but one I huskily loathed. I didn’t know these kids and they didn’t know me.
Naturally, I chose a box of cards based on Marvel Comics. The X-Men, the Fantastic Four and the Incredible Hulk all had popular cartoons at the time, and I was a huge fan. Besides, who could go wrong with super heroes? Captain America was there, Wolverine was included, even Ghost Rider. Kids would love them.
Enter Iron Man.
If you’re not familiar, Tony Stark becomes Iron Man after he suffers a severe chest injury during a kidnapping. He makes armor that saves his life, allows him to escape and, naturally, become a superhero. Most folks are familiar with the story these days, given Robert Downey Jr.’s frequent portrayals of the character and the successful genre of films he helped launch. In the early ‘90s, not quite as much.
The valentine manufacturer, who may or may not have had a hand in naming children’s jeans, thought it was a good idea to caption Iron Man’s card – juxtaposed with a really great aerial superhero shot – with “you keep my heart beating, Valentine!”
I saved the card for last. I was mortified.
I eagerly filled out my cards and crossed off names from my class list. I gave Wolverine for the kid who’d been nice to me and the Hulk for that kid who hadn’t. Captain America was for the teacher—she seemed patriotic. As my class list dwindled, so did my anxiety. That is until I realized that the most popular would-be mean girl in my class was the only classmate that I hadn’t accounted for.
I had no choice. I had to tell Ashley that she kept my heart beating. She laughed. It was as terrible as it sounds and I hated Iron Man for a solid year after that.
Thankfully, Iron Man and Valentine’s Day aren’t quite as stressful these days: I’m a fan of both. This year, I’ll spend the “holiday” with my husband, our dogs and perhaps have a solidarity-Snapple in honor of my younger self. Even for a young, gay husky kid whose heart beats for a young Regina George, it really does get better.
And speaking of love, it’s in the air in Tampa Bay and Central Florida. In this issue, we take a look at 10 of the most eligible singles in each area. When the issue drops, corresponding “Swipe Right” parties will be underway to share a little light and love this Valentine’s season, with the Tampa Bay party at St. Petersburg’s Enigma.
In Arts and Entertainment, we check in with Tampa-born Aaron Carter, who’s looking for a little “LøVë” with his first album in 15 years, and check out the Shakespeare Theater’s new play, Bigot.
In news, we look at the lovely grand marshals for this year’s Tampa Pride, and preview Metro Wellness and GLSEN’s upcoming youth leadership and empowerment summit in Tampa. In Central Florida, we take an evening stroll for Hope & Help’s 2018 AIDS Walk and take a look at the upcoming onePulse Foundation’s series of community talks.
There’s a lot to love. Watermark strives to bring you a variety of stories, your stories. I hope you enjoy this latest issue.
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