Progress, not perfection: One of the many mantras for those in a 12-step program. The idea is that no one is perfect; therefore striving for or searching for perfection is futile. One should simply try to do the next right thing, work toward being better one day at a time. It sounds nice on paper, but putting it in practice is much more difficult. It takes tools and time to train your brain to think this way.
I can’t say if this is the way things have always been or if I am just opening my eyes to it in the wake of information overload, but our society seems too preoccupied with perfection — giving way to an all or nothing culture.
For instance, how dare anyone question Elizabeth Warren’s likeability on a national level, or how Bernie Sanders can get his proposals through Congress and pay for them, or even how Mayor Pete misspoke when lumping all LGBTQ media in one category! The philosophy that a preferred candidate is flawless is a dangerous path. They are human. It is okay for them to misstep. It gives room for growth and progress, as was the case with Mayor Pete when he was given the opportunity to improve upon his comments.
Progress versus perfection reminds me of my relationship with my parents. As a child, I thought my parents were amazing. They gave me food, shelter and clothes, but mainly ice cream! They were perfect, which meant I had to be perfect too — especially since I was inherently flawed in that I was gay. I had to have the highest GPA in school, be the funniest person in the room and be the leader in everything. I even cut the lawn once with a pair of scissors because the lawn mower wouldn’t work. This way of thinking was neither fair to me or them.
As I grew into an angst-y teen years, my parents started to stumble off the pedestal on which I placed them. Most likely because I didn’t always get my way and usually didn’t understand our lack of resources. Basically, I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to do. I spent a lot of time thinking about their poor decision making and how I would do it all so much better. I got my chance when I went away to college.
Sadly, I found out that being an adult was hard. Living away from home and navigating life on my own was not as easy as I thought it would be. Luckily I had my parents to turn to for help. From then on, the older I got the more I realized how amazing my parents really were. They were far from the image of perfection I cast on them, and even further from the people my selfish teenage-self made them out to be. They were human. They did the best they could with what they had and they did more than alright by me. Their strength and their love made me the person I am today, not by always getting it right but by always working to do better the next time.
My hope is that we can all adopt this way of life, asking ourselves: “How can I make the world better today than it was yesterday?” Is it holding the door open for people who are more than a few steps away from the door? Is it letting the car — that should clearly be behind you — jump the line at Popeye’s drive-thru for the new chicken sandwich (there’s a story there)? Or is it simply telling someone you disagree with that they are validated and try to move towards a common ground? They won’t always listen, but why not try … over and over? The goal is progress, people aren’t perfect.
In this issue of Watermark we introduce you to someone who is definitely working to make the world better tomorrow than it is today: Yasmine Prosper. She has an amazing story of struggle that turns to triumph following a life-changing bus ride to the inaugural National Transgender Visibility March in Washington, D.C. I find her past inspiring and her future hopeful.
In Central Florida news we pay tribute to retiring LBTQ liaison officer Grace Peek-Harris in Central Florida, as well as look into the winning design for the Pulse Museum and Memorial. In Tampa Bay we announce the grand marshals for Tampa Pride, and are honored to report Watermark among them. We also look into Tampa’s appeal on the case of conversion therapy. Statewide, a bill has been introduced to end conversion therapy for Florida.
For arts and entertainment we talk to Nick Offerman and Divine Grace about their respective upcoming shows.
We strive to bring you a variety of stories, your stories. I hope you enjoy this latest issue.
