I’ve always been an anxious person. Maybe it is the copious amounts of caffeine I have been ingesting every day for decades or maybe it is the crippling fear of death I have had ever since I was a kid, but for whatever reason I have always been easy to breaking into sweats and shaking like a Chihuahua in a light breeze. Even when I seem calm on the outside, my insides are being inappropriately shaken around like a starlet in a 1940s, black and white talkie.
About eight years ago, that anxiety manifested itself into my first full-on panic attack, and I thought the anxiety was bad. The anxiety was that annoying kid at school who constantly picks at you, but the panic attack was his big brother who likes to beat the shit out of you.
After many panic attacks, and just as many visits to the E.R. thinking I was having a heart attack, I started to see someone who helped me work through the panic and anxiety and get to a much better place. The panic and anxiety, which still comes and goes, became manageable. Then the Stay-At-Home order happened.
At first it was fine. They said it was only going to last 14 days and if we all would social distance and self isolate and stay home we could flatten the curve. After a week the anxiety started back up and then as the cases of COVID-19 and the deaths increased and the unemployment numbers and the uncertainty went up, I started to feel the panic sliding back.
I became obsessed with watching the news and reading up on how you get COVID, what the symptoms are, how your body reacts and what dying from a virus like this would be like. It all can, and did, become overwhelming. As I was slowly regressing back into the anxiety-filled madness of my former self, I reached out to some of those old lifelines I had back when the panic was getting to be too much, and I thought I’d share a few of the suggestions I received in case you too were feeling overwhelmed.
The first and most important thing I was told to do is unplug. In times like these it is important to be informed with the facts, but you don’t need the facts on repeat and you certainly don’t need them accompanied by other’s opinions on those facts. Pick a reputable news source, get the information for a limited amount of time and then occasionally check in for updates. Also, take the weekends to unplug completely from news and social media.
One of my favorite techniques when the anxiety was creeping up, which was given to me by a therapist, is called grounding in the present, and it is something easy anyone can do at anytime.
First you place your feet flat on the ground and take slow, long breaths. Then stand up and do the following five steps, using each of your senses to countdown.
-Look around the room you are in and count off five things you see. It can be objects on the table, something on the wall, anything that you can focus your sight on.
-Feel around where you are and find four things you can touch. Again, it can be something in front of you on a table or something on your body — your shirt, your hair, etc.
-Listen for three distinct sounds. What do you hear around you? The hum of a ceiling fan or the traffic outside the window or even the breath as you exhale works.
-Find two smells around you. A scented candle or an old book, maybe the smell of the gallons of hand sanitizer you have been using for weeks on end.
-Finally, find one thing you can taste. A piece of candy, a sip of coffee, better yet a nice glass of wine.
By the time you reach one, hopefully the edge has been taken off. If not, at least you have sanitized hands and a glass — or four — of a nice Merlot.
The biggest tip I have gotten, though, is reach out and talk to someone. Find a person you can dump all of your anxiety, fear and irritation on. Someone who will listen without judgment and know that it is not directed at them, it’s just you venting. And when you are in a better place, offer to be that person for them. Sometimes you just need to unload all the shit in your head and the best thing we can do for each other right now is listen without consequences.
Be safe and let’s make sure we are all taking care of each other.
