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Each week, Watermark writer Kirk Hartlage provides a recap of the latest episode of “Dancing With The Stars.” If you missed last week’s recap, go here.
We may never know if tonight’s “Dancing With The Stars” theme was choreographed or not to recall the last time the U.S. government ignored the science of a global pandemic … but, you know, like, whatever! It’s 80s Night on “DWTS!”
Though the Reagan-era years launched numerous musical styles, tonight’s show will stay in the ABC/Disney-friendly safe land of bubblegum pop. If the night had a live musical guest, as it once did, no doubt it would be the very-of-the-moment and so-safe-he-should-be-a-celebrity-spokesman-for-condoms, DJ/Producer Kygo.
We open on a decade-appropriate aerobics-themed introduction to all our couples before host Tyra Banks walks out in a poofy gold lame dress; she warns us there will be lots of outfit changes tonight. (She’s a woman of her word as she’s already in another dress by only the eight-minute mark.)
She takes a few moments to explain the snafu of last week’s bottom-two announcement but neglects to inform us that tonight will see the season-debut of several dance styles, including jazz. Based on what is seen in tonight’s three jazz performances, couples assigned “jazz” are seemingly given a green light to do whatever in the hell they want.
• Justina Machado and Sasha Farber dance a jazz routine to “Maniac,” and it adequately honors and mimics the famed “Flashdance” song. The performance comes complete with iconic water splash that, based on Justina’s expressions, appears to have contained several more gallons that she may have expected to soak her.
• Jesse Metcalfe dances the tango to an updated remix of “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” with partner Sharna Burgess. The song’s mix distracts from the night’s theme. Jesse hopes to bring more vulnerability and heart to this performance, but, as Bruno says, the hunky heartthrob brought more of a killer pout instead.
• After admitting to being a mega-fan of New Kids on the Block, Chrishell Stause and partner Gleb Savchenko cha cha to “You Got It (The Right Stuff).” Though it comes across as an under-rehearsed wedding dance, Chrishell is genuinely surprised with videotaped congratulations from four of the five New Kids.
• Jeannie Mai dances jazz to “Like a Virgin,” and we learn she was a backup dancer to her mom’s “side hustle” as a wedding singer. For some reason, her partner Brandon Armstrong has decided to incorporate a bathtub into their routine, apparently to clean up the “edgy” Madonna song.
• Monica Aldama took what she learned in business school to grow the cheerleading program she overseas at Navarro, as seen on Netflix’s docu-series “Cheer.” Tonight, she channels the ill-feelings from last week’s bottom two placement into her tango with Val Chmerkovskiy. They perform to a female-fronted version of “Tainted Love”; the judges give her generous comments, and incredibly generous (underserved, perhaps) scores.
• With partner/prom date Cheryl Burke at his side, AJ McLean dances an open-mouthed waltz to “Open Arms.” Having left a normal high school upbringing behind to help create the Backstreet Boys. Tonight, is the prom he never had.
• Tyra kicks off hour two by “honoring” LL Cool J, Run DMC, Salt ‘n Pepa and other iconic 80s rappers with her latest costume change. She later asks Skai Jackson, who wasn’t alive during the 80’s, if she thinks Tyra looks like she’s wearing a Halloween costume. The young performer is too poised enough to answer what we’re all thinking: “You’re not?”
• Skai Jackson dances jazz to “The Power of Love,” in a “Back to the Future”-themed routine. It translates to spending about as much time off her feet in a lift, as she does on her feet performing. The visuals of a young girl dancing with partner Alan Bersten aged to look like Doc Brown is … yes, just as creepy as you might think.
• Born in 1984, Vernon Davis admits his memories of the 80s are rather vague. Partner Peta Murgatroyd coaches Vernon that his tango to “Livin’ On a Prayer” must be sharp; instead, it comes off as blunt as a butter knife. Wearing a wig that makes him look like a long-lost member of Earth, Wind and Fire, Vernon admits he has developed a new respect for women and their ability to consistently don fake hair.
• One part theater, one part proper tango, one part attempted breakdance: it’s Bachelorette Kaitlyn Bristowe and Artem Chigvintsev dancing to “I Think We’re Alone Now,” which technically is a 60’s song, but, like, whatever. She receives high marks for having the night’s best tango, with its on-point staccato movements.
• Nelly delivers a credible carefree samba to “Rhythm of the Night” with partner Daniella Karagach, who was born in the 90’s. The rapper attempts to educate his partner, later sharing that what he misses the most about the 80s is arcades.
• Johnny Weir dances the season’s first contemporary routine to “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” It gives him a chance to be lyrical, elegant, and pretty, and he’s very excited about it. His practice doesn’t go quite as planned, so partner Britt Stewart takes Johnny to an ice rink so he can better connect to the dance. The training works. Johnny delivers a fantastic routine, and Britt, a first season pro (whose style tonight brings to mind the 1988 Olympic bronze medalist ice skater Debi Thomas) is given props for her training and choreography.
• Nev Schulman shares that as a child, he channeled his ADHD-diagnosed energy into after-school dance classes, which he credits for changing his life. It’s a fitting backstory as he performs to one of the most hyperactive songs of the 80s, “Take On Me.” His Quickstep with Jenna Johnson is energetic, upbeat and intricate.
Tonight’s bottom two are Vernon and Jesse. In a surprising unanimous decision Jesse is eliminated and Vernon lives to dance another week.
Tune in next Monday at 8 pm EST on ABC or check back here the following day to see what you missed!
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