Dear Truth,
I have been a single woman for about three years, but I have been dating a lot recently. Most of the women I am meeting are not into relationships and just want to date and see where it goes. I’m usually fine with that, but I find myself interested in this one girl way more than the others. She is 25 and I am 36, and she went through a bad breakup about a year ago. Even though there are a few obstacles (mainly age), I want to know how much time should go by before I can ask her not to date anyone else? Should I let her bring it up since she is the one with the baggage? In short, is it too soon to ask for her to be with just me?
—Ready For More
Dear Demi Moore,
What’s a lesbian cougar? Watermark swag to whoever can come up with the best animal comparison.
You say that many of the women you’ve been dating have expressed a desire to “see where it goes” as opposed to dating exclusively from date one. Well, honey, that’s called dating. It’s an effort to get to know someone better and then decide if either or both of you want to move forward.
Your expectations of the timeline for defining a relationship of substance might be a couple of standard deviations outside the norm. There is nothing in the world wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with telling your prospective girlfriend what sort of person you are. You might be surprised.
A lot of people, in an effort to protect their heart, play it cool when actually they are as eager for a relationship as you are. Others maybe not so much. But here comes the Truth, baby: asking her to limit her dating to you, when you haven’t known her long enough for you to be more transparent about yourself, seems rushed.
Dear Truth,
My boyfriend Juan and I are having a problem with our neighbor. We live in a really gay section of Tampa, and we like to work out and tan in our backyard. But whenever we do anything in the yard, our nosy neighbor finds some pathetic excuse to be outside and ogle us. He usually attempts a conversation using some lame pretense, and he always tries to get us to “come over” to his place. We barely talk to him, but he won’t take the hint. This guy is really creepy, and Juan and I are sick of him hitting on us and ruining our time together. What should we do?
—Creeped Out
Dear Married Gay Male,
The first thing you should do is go to Home Depot and get an extension for the top of your fencing. I don’t know the orientation of your properties, but I would literally construct a tall wall between your property and his, and physically limit his ability to simply meander over.
You and your lover sound like vibrant people. It will be a fun, relatively easy project, and you’ll get some sun. If that doesn’t send the message, you really have no choice but to be direct. I know that propriety often prevents us from fully speaking our minds. But clearly, if your neighbor has no ability to read non-verbal cues, or more likely, is just ignoring them, he has left propriety in the rear view mirror.
I would simply tell the neighbor to please call before he comes over because your time with your lover is precious, and the unwanted interruptions are becoming a nuisance. It will make for a frostier relationship with your neighbor, but frankly, that’s his fault, not yours. The outcome might be the peace and solitude you seek.
