I’m exhausted. For weeks now I haven’t felt rested. I can sleep for 10 hours and wake up feeling like I just shut my eyes. I thought maybe I had just overextended myself with some home improvement projects. A few nights of eight plus hours of sleep dispelled that theory. Then I thought maybe it was COVID.
After four negative test results I gave up on that idea. Shortly after I was reminded that I have an auto-immune disease and that probably plays a big role in my current situation, but I think maybe it’s more that this country has gone mad and I’ve just hit my limit.
I am an alcoholic and I’m grateful for every day I have been sober, the past 1,768 days as of press time to be exact. I measure this success one day at a time because that’s the process. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Although relapse is always a possibility, I’ve never been concerned that a catastrophic event would lead me there. I have an ability to handle the big stuff, to remain calm and work toward a solution. I can’t change a pandemic so I focus on what I can do to keep a small business alive. If I fail I know I did everything possible. That’s the easy part.
The hard part is the little things that creep up, wearing you down time after time. I see it happening all around me. Depression, anger and anxiety seem to replace understanding and decency. Social media had become a necessary evil; necessary because it provides such an easy way to communicate in a time of isolation and evil because it’s become a breeding ground for disturbing behavior and vile exchanges of words. I’ve turned into a virtual old man and Facebook has become my lawn. I scroll through my feed shaking my head as if to yell “get off my lawn!”
So what has me yelling today? The biggest issue is Black Lives Matter. The acceptable response to the statement Black lives matter is yes, they absolutely do — because they absolutely do. That is all there is to it.
Saying Black lives matter does not negate the existence of other lives nor does it encourage people to hate the police. It’s a movement against police brutality and systemic racism. Yes, systemic racism does exist all around us. I just watched a video of a Conway-based Orlando woman screaming racial slurs at lawn care workers. It’s real. Why do we, as a society, pretend this is up for debate? Get off my lawn!
Why do we also pretend Donald Trump is fit to be president? Are we seriously being asked to follow the words of a doctor who believes in demon sperm? Why does his acceptance of this doctor not immediately negate his awesomeness from being able to recite “person, woman, man, camera, TV?” How does this not disqualify him from being our leader? He has now demeaned the expert advice of the doctors on his task force and defended the demon sperm doctor. I’m over it. I will not listen to this craziness anymore. This is lunacy. He is a lunatic. Get off my lawn!
Mail-in ballots are used all the time. Two states allow for all mail-in voting. They seem to be doing just fine. Guess which party has more registered voters? Guess which party stands to lose more when more people vote? So who is the real fraud? Here’s a hint: it’s not mail-in votes. Get off my lawn!
Now it is important for me to mention I am not on the verge of a relapse and Watermark is not in any more financial trouble than expected in a time like this. We are going strong. At times I feel the weight of the world but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. In the above mentioned video of the racist rant from a local Karen, there was overwhelming support coming to the lawn care workers from her neighbors. Rumor has it the woman broke a neighbor’s window and was arrested.
The brightest light is the possibility of a cultural change. President Joe Biden will foster that change. Any day he will announce his pick for his vice president, possibly before this article hits the stands. My hope for the election is that we will embrace his pick. I hope she will become the 47th president of the United States. Stay hopeful. Stay on my lawn!
In this issue the Democratic National Convention goes virtual and we check in with the large number of local LGBTQ delegates casting their votes for the Democratic presidential nominee. In Central Florida news we check in with Come Out With Pride and its plan for an amazing pride celebration. In Tampa Bay News the Project Plus grants nearly $55,000 to local LGBTQ non-profits.
We strive to bring you a variety of stories, your stories. I hope you enjoy this latest issue.
