Unapologetically Me: Navigating Grief

Grief is hard. It’s one of the most difficult emotions to process and it can have a profound effect on us.

The pain is real, raw and can be incredibly isolating. It can feel like you’re carrying a heavy weight on your chest, with no one to help lighten the load. But grief is also universal. Whether we’ve experienced a loss of a loved one, or the end of a relationship, we all have our own unique story of grief that we carry with us.

Grief is complicated and ever-changing. It doesn’t always follow a linear path — it can be messy, unpredictable and at times overwhelming. It can seem like you’ll never be the same and that the pain will last forever. But grief is also necessary. It helps us to heal, to come out of our pain with insight, compassion and a renewed sense of purpose.

It can be hard to open up about our grief, especially if we feel judged or misunderstood. But it’s important to remember that there is no right way to grieve and no timeline for it. Be kind and gentle to yourself as you move through this process.

It’s okay to acknowledge loss and talk about it — even if it hurts. Talking about your grief with people who understand what you’ve gone through can help you process and heal from the pain. Take the time to really feel your grief — don’t rush the healing.

The emotional rollercoaster of recently losing my cherished grandmother has been life’s toughest challenge. But what helped me move forward was allowing myself to grieve openly, with friends and family who understood my pain. They provided a safe space for me to share my emotions, and their love helped me find healing during this difficult time — they reminded me that I wasn’t in it alone.

We all have moments when grief is too much to bear and that’s okay. Embrace those moments and know that it’s okay to take time for yourself to mourn and heal. Don’t be afraid to lean on the people who love you and offer support. It’s important to remember that grief is hard, but it doesn’t have to be impossible. With love and understanding, you can make it through — unapologetically you.

It wasn’t until I allowed myself to be vulnerable, to open up about my pain with people who understood my loss, that I began to heal. The pain and sadness I felt were overwhelming, but it was also comforting to know that she was surrounded by love in her last moments. I had the honor of asking her what freedom and fulfillment look like to her. It was such a powerful moment and one I will carry with me forever.

My grandmother’s vision of freedom was a blissful utopia, where troubles and pain ceased, and only love reigned supreme. The driving force behind her fulfillment was her unwavering faith and gratitude towards the blessings the Lord showered upon her family. These profound words are forever etched in my heart.

Grief is hard, but it doesn’t have to consume you. You can find strength and freedom from pain through love, understanding and self-expression.

Let your story be a reminder that there is no right way to grieve and that you don’t have to go through it alone. Here are seven steps to help you process and move through your grief.

  1. Acknowledge your emotions. It is important to take the time to recognize and acknowledge your feelings of sadness, anger, guilt or even depression. Name them and accept them for what they are so you can begin to work through them.
  2. Reach out for support. By connecting with others who are going through similar experiences, you can gain valuable insight and guidance during difficult times.
  3. Take care of yourself. Make time for activities that you enjoy and provide some sense of calm and release.
  4. Be gentle with yourself. Know that healing from grief takes time and be patient with yourself. Give yourself permission to take a break when you need it and accept help from others.
  5. Celebrate special moments and memorialize. While this may be a trying time, try to focus on the positive memories of your loved one that bring joy or comfort. Spend time doing things that bring you happiness to help create special moments that honor and celebrate your loved one’s life.
  6. Seek professional help. If you are finding it difficult to cope on your own, talking to a therapist about your grief can provide you with a safe and supportive environment to express yourself.
  7. Remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone experiences grief in their own unique way. Don’t put pressure on yourself to follow a certain timeline for healing, but instead focus on taking it one day at a time.

Grief can be hard but it doesn’t have to define you. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up in a safe and compassionate manner so that eventually you can find peace and healing. Unapologetically, you can get through this, just as I did.

Bianca Goolsby, MBA is a digital strategist and activist who partners with mission-driven organizations to increase their impact through innovative and effective online communications. She also empowers and equips families to curate safe social spaces for themselves and their children.

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