For many, the New Year is a time to reflect and refocus. But for Rob Domenico, it offered an unexpected wake up call.
Two weeks ago the 37-year-old fitness buff thought he was having a heart attack and was admitted to Orlando Regional Medical Center. His partner of 10 years, Alan Meeks, rushed home from a business trip in Japan and set up camp in Domenico’s hospital room. The hospital staff brought him meals, provided him with a cot to sleep on, and allowed him to hold Domenico in bed as they processed troubling test results.
At ORMC, those accommodations are now standard procedure for registered domestic partners like Domenico and Meeks. The couple was among the first in Orlando to attain that legal status one year ago this week – on Jan. 12, 2012, the day Mayor Buddy Dyer opened the city’s registry.
Upon admission, Domenico provided the hospital with his card signifying domestic partnership. According to Meeks, they were treated supportively “just like a married couple” throughout the week-long stay.
The significance was not lost on Domenico, who is now back home and wearing an external defibrillator. While still in the hospital, he posted the following message on Facebook:
Thanks to the protection provided to us by Orlando’s Domestic Partnership Registry, and the compassion of the staff at ORMC, my beautiful partner is fast asleep beside my hospital bed. Without the efforts of all – including me and Alan – who fought for its approval, he could’ve been denied this privilege.
A different feeling
Under Orlando’s DPR ordinance, registered partners have hospital and jail visitation rights, the authority to make necessary medical decisions and funeral arrangements, and the right to receive emergency ‘family’ notification.
But the impact is more than legal.
“This is an historic event for Orlando, and it is a monumentally important event for the LGBT community,” attorney Mary Meeks said on the day Orlando’s DPR was enacted by a unanimous vote of the city commission. “It will be the first time in our lives that our families are recognized by our government.”
Alan Meeks – unrelated to Mary Meeks – said he and Domenico lived the difference.
“Being recognized as domestic partners at the hospital just felt different,” he said. “This was not a legal document that the hospital was forced to comply with. We were recognized and treated like the committed couple that we are. I think people can understand and relate to that better than a piece of paper.”
Remarkably, Orlando’s groundbreaking ordinance served as the model for seven Florida municipalities that created DPR’s in 2012: Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater, Sarasota, Gulfport, and Orange and Volusia Counties. Pinellas County will approved its Jan. 15, and Hillsborough and Sarasota Counties are expected to follow, bringing the total population with access to a DPR since last year to more than four million. Even Tavares, in rural Lake County, has proposed a DPR.
But the ease with which DPR’s have swept through Central Florida and Tampa Bay belies an uphill battle that began more than a decade ago, when a committed group of Orlando activists decided to seek real protection against discrimination. The battle – often with well-meaning but skittish elected officials – reached a peak last summer, when stubborn activists forced the hand of the powerful, process-driven new Mayor of Orange County.
City steps
Back in 2000, it was a considered a coupe when Orlando Mayor Glenda Hood agreed to speak at a meeting of the Metropolitan Business Association, Orlando’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce. The reception was warm…until Hood said she was unaware of any discrimination against gays and lesbians within the city. She added that while she opposed discrimination, she “would not be a champion” for LGBT equality in city government.
“That lit a fire under me,” said Michael Slaymaker, who’d recently lost his job at the American Cancer Society because he is gay. “And I realized that the only way we were going to educate people and get something done was to coordinate a strategy.”
So he joined with others to form the Orlando Anti Discrimination Ordinance (OADO) committee, a diverse and fluid group of results-oriented activists that included gays and straights, men and women, Democrats and Republicans. They began by identifying ways to effect real change. The trifecta, in both city and county governments, included human rights protections against discrimination, domestic partner benefits for government employees and a domestic partner registry. At the time, most seemed unattainable.
“I did not anticipate getting all of these things done,” said Slaymaker. “Especially by 2012.”
Their first test came in 2002, when Mayor Hood presided over the city council’s consideration of an amendment to the city’s human rights ordinance that would protect gays and lesbians from discrimination. Council chambers were packed, and OADO members watched as opponents described distasteful sexual practices and claimed that, logically extended, the amendment would lead to the extinction of the human race.
The amendment passed 4-3, with the compelling support of openly gay city commissioner Patty Sheehan, and without Hood. Slaymaker says this was predicted.
“The success of OADO has been our diversity. We can approach politicians from different vantage points and with sensitivity to political realities,” he said. “And we don’t ask for a vote on anything until we know we’re going to win.”
Prompted by OADO and aided by Sheehan, Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer enacted domestic partner benefits for the same-sex partners of city employees in 2008. Slaymaker says he requested meetings about a domestic partner registry, but that the idea didn’t gain traction with Dyer until 2011. It passed, with Dyer’s enthusiastic support and the unanimous approval of the city council – including Sheehan, now in her third term – in December of that year. A month later, opening day of the registry was a celebration at City Hall with Dyer officiating.
But progress was slower, and murkier, inside the Orange County Government Administration Building just a few blocks away.
County fairness
Ironically, consideration of a local DPR actually began with the county, as OADO sought to bring the larger and more politically challenging governing authority up to speed with the city. In March of 2010, OADO met with County Mayor Rich Crotty to discuss all three unrealized components of the trifecta: a human rights ordinance embracing the LGBT community, domestic partner benefits for city employees and a domestic partner registry. Crotty stalled, using the potential impact on the upcoming election to succeed him as cover.
So OADO enlisted the support of the frontrunner, former commissioner Teresa Jacobs. Jacobs encouraged Crotty to proceed before the November election.
“I believe that holding a workshop to discuss amending our HRO to make it more comprehensive is necessary,” she wrote Crotty in a Sept. 29 letter. “…holding it sooner rather than later is the right thing to do.”
In November 2010, county commissioners voted to expand HRO protections by a 6-1 vote. Unlike 2002 at Orlando City Hall, there was almost no vocal opposition.
According to OADO activist Mary Meeks – and the Sentinel – newly elected County Mayor Jacobs promised to take up domestic partner matters after she took office. And with Jacobs’ support, the county approved domestic partner benefits for county employees in April 2011.
“Seeing the mayor step up and make this a priority for her first few months in office is refreshing and exciting,” said Equality Florida’s Joe Saunders, who was recently elected as one of Florida’s two openly gay state legislators.”She saw this as unfair, and she did something about it.”
But when progress stalled on a countywide domestic partner registry, Meeks convinced OADO to shift focus back to the city.
Meeks approached Dyer’s Chief of Staff, Frank Billingsley, who presented the idea of a citywide DPR to the mayor along with his concerns about potential political fallout with an election looming in early 2012. According to Billingsley, Dyer stopped him cold.
“He held up his hand and said, ‘I don’t even need to hear the negatives…let’s do it,'” Billingsley recalled.
As a first step, Dyer wrote Jacobs.
“Some of the members of the coalition [OADO] that partnered with the County to [enact domestic partner benefits] have recently visited the City to advocate for…a domestic partner registration system. I understand they have made the same presentation to you and Orange County,” Dyer wrote on May 27. “…”it makes sense to coordinate our efforts to avoid duplication. We anticipate moving forward this summer and would greatly appreciate the opportunity to collaborate with you.”
In a cordial response dated June 14, Jacobs responded that the county was too busy.
“Due to the numerous issues we are currently addressing in Orange County, our evaluation of the domestic partner [registry] will be considered at a future point in time,” Jacobs wrote.
According to Meeks, OADA was now concerned that the “future point in time” could be never. When calls to Jacobs’ staff went unanswered, Meeks and other OADA members used the public comments segment of the June 21 county commission meeting to ask Jacobs to work with the city on a DPR. To their surprise, anti-gay activist John Stemberger was also present to speak against a registry and suggest an alternative “Reciprocal Beneficiary Contract” that does not acknowledge partnership status.
“To this day I have no idea how he knew we would be there,” said Meeks.
OADO again focused on the city. With input from Dyer and Billingsley, Meeks spent “hundreds of hours” with chief assistant city attorney Amy Iennaco drafting a comprehensive model policy that would withstand legal challenge. And hopeful that a city/county DPR could be saved, she began briefing Orange County Comptroller Martha Haynie, who would be integrally involved in implementation.
By late October, the city’s proposed DPR ordinance was ready.
“We believe the most effective way to provide a domestic partnership registry is to partner with Orange County,” Billingsley wrote in a cover letter to Jacobs’ Chief of Staff, Graciela Jacoby. “This partnership would provide protections to thousands of families and demonstrate our shared commitment to building a region that is competitive and innovative when it comes to attracting jobs. The City of Orlando wants to move its ordinance forward…in December.”
With no commitment from the county, Dyer placed the DPR on the city’s December agenda. Sheehan lobbied fellow commissioners personally. It passed without dissent.
Locking horns
Meanwhile, communications between OADO and the county languished. OADO grew increasingly concerned that Jacobs, influenced by Stemberger and other conservative Republicans, would propose a registry that disavowed domestic partnerships.
“She hasn’t said no, but why isn’t she saying yes?” Meeks told the Sentinel.
So OADO scheduled a Jan. 9, 2012 Town Hall meeting at The Center that received widespread publicity. A pre-emptive press conference called by Jacobs only fueled OADO’s concerns. And at a county commission meeting the following day, Jacobs reportedly bristled when Mary Meeks entered the room.
The battle for a countywide DPR had become personal. According to several OADO members, Jacobs and her staff began requesting that Meeks be excluded from meetings about the DPR.
“These were two powerful women locking horns,” observed Slaymaker.
But support for the county to embrace Orlando’s registry – and frustration with Jacobs’ tortured process – grew. Florida Hospital and Orlando Health announced they would honor the city’s registry throughout the region. The Sentinel reported that a majority of commissioners favored the registry, and influential columnist Scott Maxwell called for passage. Comptroller Haynie endorsed the registry publicly, as did the mayors of several municipalities within the county.
Jacobs ultimately set a bifurcated proposal for hearing on May 22. The DPR would draft off of Orlando’s registry, and a HELP (Health, Education and Life Protections) provision similar to the one proposed by Stemberger would allow people to name anyone – sibling, neighbor, co-worker – as surrogate. The final proposal was published 10 days before the hearing. According to Meeks, it contained watered-down provisions that, among other things, denied registrants the “domestic partner” designation. But Jacobs and her staff ultimately agreed to modifications requested by OADO, and the ordinance passed with a 6-1 majority, including Jacobs.
Perhaps Jacobs was ultimately pleased with the result, and disagreements were more about process than results. But the she did not attend the opening of the registry on July 6. Haynie conducted the press conference. And she and Meeks, serving as Notary Public, registered more than 20 couples that day.
To date, more than 900 couples – including Domenico and Meeks – have registered as domestic partners in the city and county.
“I’m amazed and excited at how far the equality needle has moved,” said Slaymaker.
See photos of the first day domestic partners registered with the City of Orlando.
