Being 40 and single is a dilemma for Carol Touhy. In her one-woman, Cougar Comedy Production’s show 40 Something Still Single, Touhy isn’t giving up just yet on finding her future husband, even if it means online dating.
The show opens with the most appropriate song: Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.” Touhy explains to the audience that when she was 14 years old, she planned out her life. The perfect plan was that she’d graduate high school, attend college, get married and have three children. Touhy even had a hope chest with fine China and other things to help her in her future life.
Well, things don’t go according to plan. She doesn’t graduate high school, doesn’t attend college and is sadly single.
Being disappointed in her plan failing, she was still up for the challenge to find the perfect guy. She went to the bookstore and in the self-help section, she started reading books about how to turn a date into her mate and how to keep a man, which required keeping it hot and spicy in the bedroom, be an expert at cleaning and a cook like a professional chef. Sounds like a lot of work, but that didn’t stop Touhy from getting back to the plan. Touhy made a list of 108 qualities she desired in a man. She quickly narrowed it down to two. One is that he must be single and available, and the other is he must be clinically alive.
So where does a single, 40-year-old go to seek men? Why, the wonderful world of online dating. Touhy takes you through the three Match.com dates that assure you why those men are single.
The first bachelor is Rob, who has mysophobia which is a fear of germs. He brings a bag full of Germ-X and wipes to the dinner date. The second is a tough New Yorker who Touhy overhears talking with his best friend about how the friend should leave his wife nothing and threaten to take custody of the kids. After hearing him give such disturbing advice, Touhy leaves him alone with his beer and bucket of wings. She gives it another shot in the dark with a third guy, Henry, or as she puts it “a life form” because he’s too hideous to be a human being. Henry, who is older than dirt, is just eager to make out. She leaves him and watches him drive off into the sunset with his Lamborghini.
Without a husband or even a boyfriend, Touhy realizes that she doesn’t need a man to please her. She just needs the Cougar 6000, which is a dildo. Touhy whips out the penis-shaped and flesh-colored dildo attached to a drill, which she holds like a gun and points at the audience while the toy jiggles and vibrates.
Yes, it’s hard core. Be prepared to laugh and expect the unexpected from Touhy. She pulls off this one-woman show and leaves you not be able to watch the show without giggling. The funny and single Touhy can be found in the Green Venue.
