Ally Agenda: Pam Bondi is not a whore.

Every time WatermarkOnline.com posts a story about Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi’s defense of the state’s ban on same-sex marriage, readers sprint to their keyboards and anxiously pound out the same brand of sexist insults, over and over.

This is a problem. This is the kind of dangerous problem that can kill progress, and the LGBT community needs to address it immediately.

Here is a true, real sampling of some actual comments left on WatermarkOnline.com and our Facebook page, in response to articles about Bondi: “Someone needs to murder that cunt.” “She’s a fucking hag,” “This one is for you, you female dog, AKA: Bitch” (that one was followed by a jpg of a hand with middle finger raised), “Can I just SLAP her once….I’m not gonna ever be playin’ in the NFL anyway!!!,” “I hate this word but if you look it up in the dictionary her pic would be there! CUNT!!!!!!!,” “Bondi is a bimbo and needs to go,” “Fire this Bitch, she needs to know she is not wanted in Florida. We need to get rid of this trash!!!” “This fucking bitch will probably try to appeal the Supreme Court ruling once it’s made. She’s an arrogant stupid C___.” “She is just so slick. How do people not see through this C*nt,” “Someone needs to drop a house on that filthy cum guzzling whore,” and let’s not forget the commenter who has decided that a someecard that reads “I’m not a gynecologist, but I know a cunt when I see one” is such a clever, spot-on response that this reader is pathologically dedicated to posting the image on every single Bondi link we post.

So what, right? She deserves it! Bondi is infringing on LGBT marriage rights! She’s actively fighting equality! Those are solid points, and the frustration targeted toward Florida’s attorney general is understandable.

However, when that frustration is expressed through misogynistic, gendered language, it harms women, it harms progress, and it harms the LGBT community.

You’re fighting oppression by participating in an oppressive system.
Discrimination is rooted in bigotry, ¬judging a group by outward characteristics, expression or appearance, rather than as humans deserving of equality. Whether the justification is religious or “ew, gays are gross,” all of those who oppose marriage equality are bigoted against LGBTs in this way.

At the root of anti-gay sentiment is the belief that this population, who are different in a way the bigot doesn’t approve, is not deserving of the same rights, privileges and protections enjoyed by the majority.

The same goes for sexism. The language used against Bondi by Watermark commenters doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Its source is the patriarchy, a system propagated by the belief that women are the “other,” different in a way that makes them inferior to men, and therefore are not deserving of the same rights, privileges and protections enjoyed by men. The comments above are both a byproduct of that system, and the grease that keeps its patriarchal wheels turning.

It makes no sense for LGBTs to attempt to fight a broken, bigoted system by employing the tools of another broken, bigoted system. At best, it makes the community look too dumb to understand their own words. At worst, it makes the community look like hypocrites who demand equality but are unwilling to extend equality to women.

It weakens your argument.
Read through that paragraph of examples again. What do you think when you’re done? Maybe you’re embarrassed. Maybe you empathize with the frustration. Maybe you find the language distasteful but can’t help but admire the passion.

There is a spectrum of possible replies, but I am confident that no one who reads those comments walks away thinking, “My, what a well-reasoned, intelligent point of view. I feel a sense of pride and solidarity, knowing that such captains of intellect are out there on the internet, using the power of their words to change hearts and minds.”

Commenters who casually, regularly toss around words like “whore” and “cunt” in an attempt to undermine a powerful woman like Bondi undercut their own points of view. She’s blond, she’s a bigot, she’s a woman, and misogyny is low-hanging fruit. Smart readers with open minds can’t help but wonder why the sexist commenters jump right to the hate, rather than employing the multitudes of legit, powerful arguments in favor of equality that already exist.

It also makes the commenters sound dumber than a bag of hair.

It’s insulting to women.
Women are members of the LGBT community. Women are allies. When you act like a sexist moron, you alienate women and I’ve got news for you—LGBTs need women. We’re half of the population.

And no, if a woman is the one trotting out the gendered insults, it doesn’t make them any less sexist. It just demonstrates how deeply and dangerously the patriarchy is ingrained.

It is super boring.
Watermark readers are clever, witty and brilliant. I’ve read some remarkable arguments in favor of equality. I’ve used quotes that are so original and smart they’ve made me fist pump at my desk. We need more arguments like this on public forums, and when I read a tedious laundry list of ways to say “bitch” and “whore” it is so disappointing because I know for a fact that it is beneath the LGBT community.

Calling someone a “cunt” isn’t fresh or edgy. It’s a yawn. We can do better.