[one-star-rating]Jamie Foxx, Quvenzhane Wallis, Cameron Diaz, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale[/one-star-rating]
Are you asking yourself why anyone would choose to update the movie musical Annie? Well, keep asking.
Even with a new streetwise patina, this dusty story is about a rapscallion child (Wallis), who keeps hoping her parents are alive. A rich tycoon wants to adopt her. In this version, Foxx plays the moneybags (his name changed from Daddy Warbucks to Mr. Staxx) – a cellphone entrepreneur running for mayor of New York City. After Foxx spits some food on a homeless man, he needs photo ops with this cute kid to get his campaign back on track.
Yes, it’s that crass. This revision makes a clichéd story even worse. Annie is in on helping Mr. Staxx, because she likes all his expensive stuff.
What isn’t coarse and insensitive is so broad and schmaltzy, it’d make Broadway blush. Lots of winking at the audience further ruins this flick.
And it’s two hours long.
Will Smith and co-producer Jay Z at first snagged the rights to Annie as a pet project for Smith’s daughter, Willow. They had solid script adapters, including Thomas Meehan of the movie musicals Hairspray and The Producers, and Aline Brosh McKenna of The Devil Wears Prada. (As an interesting side note, actress Emma Thompson took an earlier, uncredited swipe.) Comedy director Will Gluck (Easy A, Hamlet 2) helms the production.
However, probably smelling embarrassment, Willow Smith bailed. As a replacement, they got Wallis, the Oscar nominee of the amazing Beasts of the Southern Wild.
This update consistently pales in comparison with the original film and the Disney TV version, directed by Rob Marshall (director of this Christmas’s other musical, Into the Woods).
At least the musical numbers are well performed; that’s not the embarrassing part. For all the show’s problems, I inadvertently found myself tapping my toes. The inserted pop numbers and new songs (by Sia) are also very enjoyable. That might give this movie two stars, but I hated the rest of it so much, I’m rounding down.
That’s because everything else in this flick is humiliating, a terrible example for kids. Annie’s world is underhanded and vicious. The movie’s comedy is labored and overwrought. The modified plot points feel forced. As a child actor, Wallis smiles and wheels and deals. Her lightning-quick dialogue with Foxx is meant to be funny and not slimy or materialistic at all. She runs around an oversized penthouse, petting all the valuables while singing a new version of “I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here.”
[rating-key]
Not a single dime was spared on the production, which makes Annie feel even more vulgar.
Worse among the broad cast is Diaz, who play foster mommy Miss Hannigan as a drunken, bitter, horny shrew. This is an embarrassment to Diaz, to foster parents, and to any actor with a modicum of pride.
Diaz, Wallis, Byrne, and Foxx should’ve followed Willow Smith’s lead and bailed on this project. Leapin’ lizards, it’s bad!
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