Every time I sit down to write this column, it takes a while for me to find the right words. After all it is my desire that in these words you find support, encouragement and, in many cases, a sliver of solace from experiences that might sometimes feel unfathomable.
The current pandemic has officially been around in the U.S. for a year already, and even though we joke that it feels like a decade has gone by, the real weight of these trying times on our shoulders is not felt by what we have been able to keep — like our sanity — but more about what we no longer see around us. Many of us saw our health shaken, employment swept away, savings disintegrate and, worst of all, had the size of our families reduced. Loss is the inevitable truth we humans aim to avoid at all costs yet it is a consistent theme every day.
As I saw three close family members succumb to the pandemic, many more convalescing from the virus, small businesses struggling and tensions rising from the intertwining crises, I couldn’t help but notice the opportunity this represented for the human race, in the grand scheme of things. Yes! This may sound exhaustingly optimistic but if you pay close attention to everything we have lost, every material possession or relationship that no longer is, it has created an open space for you to begin from scratch.
We humans have the biological tendency to dream big and materialize those aspirations but more often than not we get tangled up in the machine of the world. We have a tendency to pour our hearts into attaining the car, the house, the clothes, the brand, the name recognition but, even though I do not mean to downplay its importance, we fail to remember that nothing lasts forever.
With that last thought, I bring your attention back to the optimistic sense of having an open space. Since nothing lasts forever — not the car or the house, the clothes or work — we are able to recognize that crises like the ones we have endured this last year will eventually fade and you will once more have the chance to reinvent yourself and try something new. That is the tragic beauty we can enjoy from this collective experience, granted that we first become aware of the collective nature of all our actions.
As politics during the pandemic ripped communities, families, friendships and individuals apart, that perceived chasm between people is another open space upon which we can build. I don’t necessarily mean building back bridges for those who are no longer in tune with our frequencies and life energies, those bridges can be left undone. The remains of what was before the pandemic should stay there, in the past, for right now we have the unprecedented occasion to stand in the open space with the maturity of lived experiences already within us to push us forward.
How many times have you daydreamed of going back in time knowing what you know now? What would you do differently? Those wishes arise from our natural yearning to undo or redo what our hearts actually desire. Well, guess what I am going to bring up next? You guessed right: open space. As cheesy and repetitive this might sound, it is futile to try and change the past. In the words of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche “everything goes, everything comes back; eternally rolls the wheel of being. Everything dies, everything blossoms again; eternally runs the year of being.” Fortunately, we do not need to philosophize too deeply to realize that the person you were a year ago is not who you are today, and the open spaces presented to you are there for you to build upon what no longer is. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, it’s already made, but with every roll the ride gets smoother.
With the new year seemingly unfolding at a glacial pace, and with so many open spaces now available to all of us, this opportunity will reveal itself in different ways for everyone. In my case, I picture this opportunity like a vast, dark desert, under a vast, empty sky with no sensible direction or constellations to follow. As grim as this image may seem, I am certain we have all gone through so much so quickly that we have no other choice but to walk ourselves into the dark, grappling with our fears and keeping them in check. With every step we take into the unknown, we create our own path, our vision adjusting to the darkness until light reaches us. Then we can draw our personal constellations; map our own direction. That idea you had years ago, those dreams of yours that you’ve been postponing, that time you’ve been yearning to have to be with and by yourself, this is it. Life has heard us all and has emptied our hands bare to give us the simplest, yet most powerful tool we can receive in times of distress: a new chance. Leap towards your open space.
Jerick Mediavilla is a former journalist from Mexico City, an educator in Central Florida and an human rights activist for the LGBTQ community. Jerick is one half of an Orlando power couple with State Rep. Carlos Guillermo Smith.
