As a lover of all things celebratory, I tend to make a big deal out of birthdays, anniversaries and new adventures. It’s something I’ve written about regarding New Year’s Eve, a time of year when I find value in new beginnings.
I distinctly remember finding myself looking forward to the new year last December, and now my kids are preparing to return to school. 2022 is really flying by, not unlike the last few years which have been pretty hard.
The pandemic started off with some of the strangest times I have ever experienced – and when I say “strangest,” I am most certainly referring to some of the most stressful, scary and uncertain days I’ve had. Days that I wanted to just survive. Just get through. Where I wasn’t living my best life but enduring what life was dishing out.
I feel a lot differently about COVID-19 than I did a few years back. We have done what we can to protect ourselves and others, and my anxiety about that has mutated more into an awareness and understanding. However, now I feel frightened, frustrated and disheartened by the climate in our country regarding reproductive rights and the increased discriminatory practices towards the LGBTQ community.
I have never understood the idea that someone can hate you simply because of who you are. I value self-love and individuality, something I try to instill in my children. I encourage them to love themselves and their differences, and to do the same for others.
I try to relay that in this column, making an effort to inspire, empower and connect through words. I can be sensitive and highly emotional, and I understand how negativity can really affect us in powerful ways. The idea that words on a page or screen can turn someone’s whole day around or can change someone’s way of thinking is amazing, and I see value in that connection.
Lately, however, I am struggling to stay upbeat for myself and my loved ones. I am scared for my transgender son in 2022 and I am angry on his behalf and on behalf for the entire LGBTQ community.
So many things with him are a battle, and I have combat fatigue. I will never give up on my kids or stop providing them with the best life that I can, but getting him what they need to grow up healthy, happy and confident is so hard. My kids are the most important part of my life, and currently I cannot take care of my son in the ways he deserves because his basic human rights are being violated nearly every day.
My son must endure endless inappropriate questions in “professional” settings like the doctor’s office and dentist, something that my other children never experience. People treat him differently because he transgender, and lately I feel like on top of that people want to change him or treat him poorly.
As he is on the cusp of turning 13 and becoming a full-on teenager, I cannot answer so many questions he has regarding possible hormone therapy because autonomy of one’s body is not for all of us in 2022. I feel worried and sad, more than I did at the beginning of the pandemic.
So much is going on right now on top of that. Inflation, the economy and finances are keeping many of us up late at night. Travel is messier than ever when we all truly need to get away. I believe most of the world is stressed to say the least, but I’ve come to understand that means we can all relate to one another because of it.
I know I will read this column again sometime in the future and feel differently than I do today. That is guaranteed. One of the coolest things about life, to me, is how quickly things can change; good or bad.
The small suburban city I live in recently started a local PFLAG chapter, for example, and I am a new member. No legislature or politician will change how I support my son’s transition in the future, although I see more challenges on the horizon. I look forward to being more involved and helping support families such as ours understand that while I get support myself.
Whenever he’s asked, one of my mentors says that he is “amazing.” He always follows by explaining why. He doesn’t share fake positivity, but instead genuinely dishes out whatever good he can find every day. He shares his gratitude in life and thoughts on being able to live it on his own terms.
My circle of friends, family and coworkers includes some truly exceptional humans whose lives have not always been easy. But they have lived on their terms and done things in their way, which is a definition of success in so many ways.
I imagine you have, too. Why is why I hope as many of us struggle that we can remember how amazing that is. That we are kind to ourselves and to others, just for being who we are.
Sylvie Trevena is a proud mom of four with eclectic interests who holds a BS in Behavioral Healthcare and an MBA.
