One day at a time. That’s what they tell me. It’s one of the most useful tools in sobriety, especially in the beginning.
I stopped drinking on October 1, 2015. It was nine days before the annual Come Out With Pride celebration at Lake Eola in downtown Orlando and I was nervous. How was someone like me, someone who would binge drink at every opportunity, going to make it through this major weekend-long event at only nine days sober? The answer: 24 hours at a time.
Looking at the big picture was too intimidating. I’m not drinking at Pride quickly became I’m not drinking ever again. It may sound ridiculous, but that can be frightening to an alcoholic. As the publisher of Watermark, I couldn’t simply avoid the events. I had to break them down in to manageable time frames. That Thursday I said I’m not drinking at the kick-off party, Friday didn’t matter at the time. I woke Friday determined not to drink that day, Pride Saturday wasn’t my concern at the time. And when Pride Saturday rolled around, I made it my mission not to drink that day and not to worry about avoiding Bloody Marys at brunch the next day. After a few 24 hours it got easier and less scary. At the time I am writing this I have 648 24 hours under my belt. Still, I don’t worry about tomorrow. Today is my focus.
For some this concept is life or death. What they do in this 24 hour period will lead them to enlightenment or toward darkness. So, focusing day to day can be helpful to the alcoholic. Society could benefit from letting this idea permeate other aspects of life’s distractions, like social media.
I’m pretty vocal about my disdain for social media’s keyboard quarterbacks. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a nice spirited debate, but only when it’s well thought out and civil. Knee-jerk reactions rarely meet those criteria. This is where the 24 hours can be helpful. If I come across something that angers me, I sit on it for 24 hours or talk to peers about their opinions. If it’s regarding a subject I know little about, I’ll use those 24 hours to do research and try to understand it better. I ask questions first and react later because the one thing I do know is that I don’t know everything.
If we don’t give ourselves time to process, to think and form a rational response, then we often end up in a useless war of words where no one is listening. Sometimes people make mistakes and it’s important to address that with them, but it is not important to attack on social media.
In Watermark’s last issue we ran a story with a major error. In our reporting of “Mind Over Matter” we attributed remarks from Two Spirit Health Services, Inc. to David Baker-Hargrove instead of co-CEO Robert Baker-Hargrove. Although he had a valid reason to be upset and rant about the mistake to the social media masses, David Baker-Hargrove instead reached out to me personally and allowed Watermark the opportunity to correct the error where possible. I admire that about him. Too often I see that is not the case in my Facebook feed. Too often we take to Facebook and end up fighting those on our side.
Progressive ideas are at the core of my very nature. For example, I would happily pay higher taxes for subsidized healthcare and education. It’s really an investment in my future to have healthy, smart people leading the country. However, some of my opinions are unpopular and I’m not always in the right.
Here is one case in point: The three major metropolitan cities in Watermark’s coverage area all have really big Pride celebrations: St. Petersburg, Tampa and Orlando. As of late, smaller prides have become popular. Polk County Pride, Volusia County Pride, Space Coast Pride and the newly added Sanford and Kissimmee Prides are just a few. My initial reaction to the growing interest in smaller community pride celebrations was admittedly selfish. Why not just go to the big Prides? It seems like there is at least one Pride every weekend in June with October filling up fast. In lieu of online commentary on the subject, I spent the day engaging a few locals in a conversation. They opened my eyes. Everyone wants to feel welcome in their own communities and celebrate their hometowns. I get it. I’m on board and I will spend my weekends celebrating with every town Watermark reaches. What’s the alternative? Belittling some Prides and fighting with each other over who has the best, most important celebration? Spoiler alert: You all do.
Social media can be as intoxicating as alcohol. Too much of it and you can hurt the ones you love, or the people who have your back instead of fighting the root problem. There is no doubt in my mind that Andrew Garfield, the Orlando Magic, OneBlood and even some Chick- Fil-A franchises have the best interest of LGBTQ people at heart. I support them. If you disagree, just give it 24 hours before eviscerating me online. Better yet, let’s put the keyboard down and have a discussion.
In this issue we say hello to Anna Eskamani’s run for District 47, say goodbye to Tampa police chief Eric Ward, look back at some golden oldies with B-52s’ Cindy Wilson and Bette Midler impersonator Jennica McCleary.
Editor-in-Chief Billy Manes took a break from his Editor’s Desk column this issue.
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