(DWTS logo from wdtvpress.com)
Each week, Watermark writer Kirk Hartlage provides a recap of the latest episode of “Dancing With The Stars.”
Last night saw the premiere of the latest installment of ABC’s “Dancing With The Stars,” the former ratings juggernaut for ABC that, for a time, was so successful the network ran two seasons of the competition a year. You would think that surely by now Disney would have milked that cash cow and turned “DWTS” into a Walt Disney World theme park attraction or eatery, but alas, no.
Still, the show remains a big draw for viewers looking to stay connected to various pop culture celebrities, all who typically share the title of “former.” Among this season’s would-be dancers: one former boy band member, two former soap stars, and three former athletes. To round things out there’s multiple reality show folks, but whether they’re former, current or future it’s really anybody’s guess.
Longtime viewers have come to see “DWTS” as “comfort TV,” basically the Stouffer’s Frozen Dinner of the television landscape. It’s a name you trust, you know what you’re getting when you invest in it, occasionally it’s mildly spicy and, at the end of the day, it gets the job done. With 2020 being what it is, “DWTS” would typically be the perfect “go to” for that much-needed sense of been-there-done-that normalcy in our lives.
But since 2020 is anything but typical, why should “DWTS” be too? Gone are long-time hosts Tom Bergeron and Erin Andrews, and in their place, Tyra Banks. While no stranger to hosting competition reality shows – she successfully helmed over 20 seasons of “America’s Next Top Model” – Tyra comes from a world where a second photo, a second edit or another take is always an option. Not so much here in the “Live!” land of “DWTS.”
Tyra didn’t so much as smize as she smenched her way through reminding us before one commercial break that the show was indeed live. Poor thing smiled with teeth clenched so tight you’d have thought she’d just seen a “1” on a paddle board, scoring her hosting abilities at the show’s mid-point.
Later, while completely overselling the show’s live aspect, Tyra asked a clearly pre-recorded video of head judge Len Goodman if he “could hear her.”(Rather than sit at the socially distanced judges table with Carrie Ann Inaba, a newly silver-haired Bruno Tonioli and pro-dancer-turned-replacement-judge Derek Hough, Len will be offering advice and tips from the U.K. by Zoom because … 2020.) Despite giving Tyra a “10” for her performance thus far (further damning evidence that this bit was pre-recorded) Len then called the new host “Kyra,” and soon thereafter, “Kyla,” which I can only hope is the start of a long-running joke where the Brit constantly calls the new host the wrong name.
Somewhat unique to “DWTS,” when compared to other competition shows, is that it isn’t afraid to push aside the curtain to show viewers how the magic is made – torn ligaments, broken bones, ER trips and all. Last night I’d hoped for a primer on how the show is working with the various safety protocols needed to mount just such a production … especially how the show’s two married professional dancer couples (one set are newlyweds), forced to live apart, are managing. Instead we got video packages of each celeb meeting their pro dance partner for the first time, which include the phrase, “I hoped I’d get you,” far more often than you’d expect.
Tyra told us multiple times what fans she and her mother are of the show, and how they’ve frequently watched it together. Now, whether Tyra was paying attention or not remains to be seen, because she sure seemed surprised when told lifts weren’t allowed in a Fox Trot. But these are new times. I, for one, was incredibly shocked to learn that all those commercials promoting ABC’s upcoming mystery drama were actually for a new program called “Big Sky,” and not for yet another re-boot of “Twin Peaks.”
Sadly, all of Tyra’s introductions, post-dance interviews and attempts at banter came across as too rehearsed, too written-ahead-of-time and lacking any sense of spontaneity. Tyra’s one moment of improvised levity will likely get her sent to detention by the on-set COVID police, since tossing jewelry that she’d just been wearing to Carrie Ann for her to wear is probably a big no-no in the CDC guidelines.
But, as the judges often say, especially after a wobbly first week performance, we’re just getting started and we’re excited to see what she brings in the coming weeks.
Since we’re really here for the dancing, let’s get to some of the stand-out performances.
•It’s times like NFL Star Vernon Davis and Peta Murgatroyd’s Fox Trot where we really miss head judge Len. He would have certainly admonished the couple for spending an eternity just standing still and stroking each other, “dilly-dallying about, instead of jus’ gettin’ on wif it and dahhhcing,” or something else similarly British.
•Anne Heche will be one of the most fun celebs to watch this season as you get the impression she lives her life without a filter, which is always fun for live television.
•In what can best be described as looking “mildly fluffy,” TV heartthrob Jesse Metcalfe reflects us all as it appears he, too, has perhaps fallen victim to the Quarantine 15.
•Channeling his inner-Pussycat Doll (and who among us hasn’t), Johnny Weir Cha-Cha’s to their hit “Buttons,” leaving us hoping he’ll continue to mine that group’s catalog for all of his performances. And while it is indeed a wonder why he hasn’t competed on “DWTS” before, it’s an even bigger mystery why he wasn’t paired with the equally-fabulous Bruno Tonioli for the series’ first same-sex couple.
•NBA legend Charles Oakley quickly demonstrates his role as this season’s sacrificial lamb, likely to be voted off in the show’s first few episodes.
•Hollywood’s behind-the-scenes crew have it particularly hard performing their work under the new normal. Nowhere is this more evident than the hairdo sported by Monica Aldama, the head coach from the Netflix series “Cheer,” whose coiffure ages her by at least a decade.
•When Carole Baskin, of Netflix’s “Tiger King,” meets her pro dance partner Pasha Pashkov for the first time she greets him with what can only be described as some type of handmade “Midsommar”-inspired floral head wreath. The couple prove the internet correct by dancing to “Eye of the Tiger.” While there’s no doubt that next week she’ll perform to “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” I, for one, hope she sticks around long enough for Disney Week and Broadway Week, just for her interpretations of any number of selections from “The Lion King” and “Cats.”
•Finally, the toughest DJ gig around these days has got to be whomever controls the canned audience applause, laughter and other reactions for shows used to having live audiences, but currently cannot. That said, the “DWTS” sound engineer had a heavy trigger finger tonight and needs to lighten up for future episodes.
No Monday episode next week, but everyone returns Tuesday for another dance and this season’s first elimination. Tune in at 8 pm EST on ABC, or check back here the following day to see what you missed!
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