Usually, when an officiant pronounces a new couple husband and wife, the declaration is greeted by joyful cheers, applause, bells or organ music.
When the officiant who married Brian Feldman and Hannah Miller made it legal, a few people clapped weakly but everyone else stared in awkward silence awhile before Miller spoke up, declaring that this is not a happy occasion.
“It’s terrible that we could do this and they couldn’t,” she said, gesturing to a loving lesbian couple who were denied a marriage license by the Orange County courthouse employees just moments before Miller and Feldman, two strangers, wed.
Earlier this month, Feldman, an Orlando performance artist, announced his intention to marry any stranger who would have him, to highlight Florida’s unfair laws that allow a man and a woman who have never met to marry while committed gay couples cannot legally do so. On Feb. 8, he showed up at the courthouse not sure whether anyone would take him up on his offer. Miller and three other women did, and they spun a water bottle to see who would be Feldman’s wife. It pointed to Miller, and the two introduced themselves, then immediately headed over and applied for a marriage license.
Florida law requires a 3-day waiting period, so their wedding date was set for Feb. 12, 2010.
Just before 3 p.m. on Feb. 12, Nicki Drumb and Rachel Gardiner, who have been in a committed relationship since 2005, approached the counter and asked for a license. The employee on duty immediately left and was replaced by a supervisor who told them that Florida law will not allow them to receive a marriage license. Gardiner asked about domestic partnerships or civil unions and was denied both requests.
“I’ll be back,” Gardiner said, before turning away from the counter.
Right before Miller and Feldman’s wedding, Drumb presented Feldman with a wedding band she had made from her own rejected marriage license application.
A number of unsuspecting “regular” couples were wed while gathered friends and media waited for Miller and Feldman to arrive. Miller came first, in a white dress and veil, holding a plastic bouquet. It was clear that those waiting for Miller were not sure how to respond to her and were mostly complimentary.
“I would feel better if people were shaming me. This is a disgusting thing I have to do,” she said. “I mean, not because of Brian, he’s a nice guy.”
Miller said as she arrived at the courthouse someone shouted, “Who’s the lucky guy?” and she shouted back, “I don’t know!”
Feldman arrived about 20 minutes late, blaming the rainy weather. When the officiant called their names, about three dozen spectators packed into the tiny room to watch the proceedings. Gay activist Logan Donahoo gave Miller away.
“We had the pleasure of being friends in high school and now since I can’t marry a nice Jewish man, I’m honored to give her away to one,” Donahoo said.
The officiant read a quick, standard ceremony explaining the laws and responsibilities of marriage in Florida while Miller and Feldman responded to her prompts awkwardly. When she pronounced them husband and wife, they shook hands.
“I don’t know what to say,” said Miller.
“It’s done,” replied Feldman.
Feldman then turned to Drumb and Gardiner and said, “It should be you guys.”
Miller tossed them the bouquet, and a smiling Gardiner caught it then cheerfully declared, “We’re next!”
Feldman is asking that in lieu of wedding gifts, donations be made to Equality Florida.
