Brenda Cothern lives in Tampa with her husband of 15 years. She is a self-published author on Amazon.com’s best-selling list. She also identifies as “pansexual.”
“I am attracted to personalities,” she explains. “I can work with any equipment.”
The 44-year old describes herself as a “dom” but is a “sub” to her husband in play scenarios. It works well for the couple because they met within the local BDSM community. Her love for that community is reflective in her books.
Her first, Fates, is an adult fantasy that was published in 2010. She says her love for reading fantasy and paranormal erotic romance was the deciding factor for her to discard her Bachelor’s degree in management so she could write full time.
She is very quick to point out that BDSM is not leather, although the two are often mistaken for one another.
“In leather there is a different mindset,” she explains. “It’s more about people and community.”
And that’s what attracted Cothern. She says her BDSM and kink roots are important to her, but when she was embraced by the leather community, she knew she was home.
And whenever there is a leather event, Cothern makes sure she is participating. She has been embraced by the local LGBT Leather Community, and even works booths at St. Pete Pride. She adds that she’s passionate about LGBT equality.
“Marriage equality should be everyone’s concern and fight,” she says. “The Leather Community has a history of being trailblazers, ever since Stonewall. We’re very supportive of equality and we always want more people on board for that fight.”
She does understand that the Leather Community’s image can sometimes hurt it—not by any act of the community itself, however. It’s all about misunderstanding what it means to be part of it.
“People sometimes say we’re no different than drag queens,” she says. “I’ve heard the term ‘leather drag’ before. We aren’t just one image—we’re gay, straight, bears, boys, girls. But we are all on the same mission—and that mission is community.”
And it’s the mission of each person within the community to help others grow and learn. And teaching is one of the most rewarding parts of her participation.
“Don’t take what you read as fact,” Cothern says. “Contact the Leather Community. Google the leather clubs and BDSM and find your fit. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. There is no need for intimidation. We just ask that you be respectful and polite with your inquiries.”
For more information on Cothern or her books, visit BCothernBooks.com.
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