Positive Living: Gay Days at the Polling Booth

It occurred to me that in order to get more gay people to the polling booth, whose votes matter immensely, perhaps we should create a whole “gay day” theme like we do at Disney World. If we can take over the land of enchantment, why shouldn’t we take over this important day too? Why not have some funs while we send the politicians in Washington packing for home?

The celebration would of course begin weeks in advance, so honey, you are already behind. You’d better drop everything and get started right now.  

First, we need to plan and purchase just the right outfit.  That could require weeks of shopping, but we gay men have that down to a science, don’t we? Red, white and blue would be the preferred color scheme but hey, you may be able to repurpose your red Gay Days Disney shirt, so you have a head start. Over the top costumes should be de rigueur: drag queens, knock yourself out. It is an important patriotic day so use as much glitter and glam as you can muster.

I’m from Gulfport and we are used to playing dress up for all sorts of events so at least I have a red, a blue and a white boa I can choose from, or I might go all out and wear them all. I also have red shoes that light up from Geckofest, so my footwear is covered too.

There are a million more details to handle  before the big day too. Hair appointments, nail appointments, buying weed and liquor… you know, the usual stuff before a big party. If you plan to host a house party you’ll need to get the  house boy busy cleaning and buy tons of hors d’oeuvres. To celebrate the coming “blue wave” I suggest blue crab, bleu cheese, blueberries and blue margaritas.   Make plans to call in sick on Wednesday, Nov. 7, because if you do this right you are going to be nursing one heck of a post-election hangover.

Now to decide where to celebrate.  If you aren’t going to a house party you might elect to join the festivities at any number of fabulous gay establishments.  But you might get creative too. For instance, gay churches with the help of gay AA and NA groups might sponsor sober parties and gatherings.  I would suggest at least one bar host a “Gay Day at the Polling Booth” t-dance. The Resort here in St. Pete would be a wonderful site.  Perhaps the establishment (and others) could offer a couple of free drinks to anyone wearing an “I voted” sticker.

Going to the polls doesn’t need to be a singular experience. Let’s all pile into a van and go together, making spectacles of ourselves at the polling booth. Bring a boom box and vote to “We are Family,” “It’s Raining Men” and “Baby I was Born this Way.” Let’s make sure no one can miss that the gay boys and girls have shown up en masse to do their civic duty.  In bluer areas of the state, like where I live, I’m sure our straight allies will be amused and supportive. If you live in a redder district – first, my condolences –but secondly, if you show up in a huge group it will likely cause a few Republicans to explode. Sorry, Log Cabins. I just don’t understand how you can be Republican and Gay. To me that’s sort of like the Pope supporting a pilgrimage to Mecca.