When Jeff Multer met his future husband in Jan. 2019, he thought, “why not try an awesome pick-up line?”
He and Eric Casaccio were chatting at Enigma after discovering they had mutual friends. He told him, “Oh, I’ve always loved the name Eric,” which was true, but there was miscommunication. Casaccio assumed Multer was already in a relationship because of a comment a friend had made.
“I remember thinking, ‘Why are all the good ones taken?’” Casaccio says. He pushed Multer from his mind until a dating app reconnected them a few months later.
Multer recognized him immediately and they had their first date that April, a dinner at the Don CeSar in St. Petersburg Beach. As time went on and they got to know each other better, though they didn’t talk about their careers much.
“In the beginning of the relationship, we took it very slow and didn’t rush into anything. We wanted to really know each other organically,” Casaccio says.
Eventually they found their lines of work meshed well. Both are in creative fields – Multer is a violinist and concertmaster with The Florida Orchestra and Casaccio takes on various roles in the film industry, including directing, writing and producing projects.
“I think it gave us a sense of, ‘Oh good, this person is on the same page,’” Multer recalls. “We’re both creative artists and give each other the space to do that. It can sometimes be a big, big problem in a relationship … I realized we had potential, not having that roadblock.”
The first time Casaccio saw Multer perform, at a Tchaikovsky concerto, he was already feeling personally connected with the violinist.
“It was outstanding, just outstanding,” he remembers. “For me it was like, ‘Wow, he can do that too.’”
Multer wasn’t part of the second half of the orchestra’s performance and texted Casaccio to see where he and his friend were sitting.
“I told him, ‘Congratulations, that was beautiful, but this is your night; don’t worry about us,’” Casaccio remembers. The row they were sitting in was sold out so there wasn’t space for Multer to join anyway, but the violinist assured him the audience would make room.
They were in awe and cleared the row for him, Casaccio confirms. “He sat next to me and held my hand. For the kid who was never picked in gym class, that was bullied, it was such a beautiful moment for me. I felt so loved and safe and so grateful. It was such a special moment.”
During the worst of the COVID-19 pandemic, they isolated together in the mountains of North Carolina.
“It was just the two of us nonstop. There was nothing to do. We weren’t working. We were in a small house,” Multer says. “It made us both feel pretty comfortable. As many of our friends told us, no married people ever spend that much time together in the entire course of their relationship.”
Casaccio adds, “We really got along famously during that time. That kind of demonstrated that we really have an alignment and an understanding of each other. It was probably one of most memorable times of our relationship.”
Then, when Casaccio’s mother passed away last year, it was “a very big loss.” He says that “she was all the Golden Girls wrapped into one person. The gays loved my mother. She was a celebrity around St. Pete whenever she would come visit.”
The couple began thinking more about their future after her death. On Christmas Day in 2020, they got engaged. When they got to their stockings at the very end, Casaccio saw a wrapped box.
“I thought it was a bracelet or something at first. When I opened it, I realized what it was,” he says. “I was in shock and asked, ‘Is this what I think it is?”
Multer got down on one knee and asked Casaccio to marry him. “I just cried. We call it the Oprah Winfrey cry,” he muses. “Of course, I said, ‘Yes.’”
With Casaccio’s family in New Hampshire and Multer’s family in Cape Cod, they headed north for their wedding. They said “I Do” at the First Congregational Church of Wellfleet, UCC in Wellfleet, Massachusetts on Oct. 9.
They were wed “in a beautiful service” in front of a small group, just 22 family members. Multer says that “Neither of us were into the idea of a big wedding.”
The church has been “a big part of my family tradition for a long time,” he continues. While it has long been known as “open and affirming,” theirs was first same-sex wedding in the sanctuary.
The couple plans to have a celebration in the Tampa Bay area at some point. “We’re kind of hoping that when we start to be able to have fun again without worrying about the next big COVID thing we’ll do a Florida party for all of our Florida friends,” Multer says.
Engagement date: Dec. 25, 2020
Wedding date: Oct. 9, 2021
Wedding venue: First Congregational Church of Wellfleet, UCC in Wellfleet, Mass.
Wedding theme/colors: All the colors of the rainbow.
Florist: Sheila Kelley at Kelley’s Flowers
Officiant: Dr. Rev. Sheila Rubdi
Cake Bakery: P.B. Boulangerie Bistro
Photographer: Maggie Howland
