I was asked recently by Anna Eskamani to address a pro-abortion rally on the day the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.
My first instinct was to say no for a variety of reasons, not least of which was because, while I am a woman, I am a trans woman and current medical technology hasn’t yet advanced to the point of allowing me to have a uterus and get pregnant. I wasn’t exactly certain that what I had to say would be received well in the moment, although I knew with absolute certainty that abortion rights, and broader reproductive rights, are inextricably linked with trans rights. In the end, I decided to speak at the rally.
I needn’t have worried about my reception as there was a clear shared anger that welcomed all comers, no matter how we identified. It was inspiring to feel welcomed into a shared sisterhood at a very low moment in our country’s collective history. As I made my points that we shared a common enemy who had designs to take all bodily autonomy from trans people and women, that my medical transition was contingent on my ability to make the choice to lose my reproductive ability, and that trans men and nonbinary people also needed reproductive care including the right to an abortion, I was met with raised fists and outraged cheers. As long as I live I will never forget that moment.
Where I am considerably less sanguine is in the state of trans rights in Florida and many other conservative states in the country. 18 states have succeeded in banning trans kids from competing in sports and more and more are succeeding in banning them from transition altogether. We are losing the fight for trans rights by increments nearly in lockstep with abortion rights.
Even more alarming are the inroads into transgender issues I see conservatives making into the hearts and minds of cisgender and otherwise liberal thinkers. If you have ever felt uncomfortable with the notion of trans kids transitioning or with trans women competing in sports with cisgender women, then most likely you have been influenced. Conservatives are furiously trying to fan seeds of doubt into full-blown transphobia. The strategy is working and it is paving the way for previously inconceivable laws and regulations that would make it impossible to exist as a trans person in Florida and most of the Southeast.
We know that studies show us that science clearly supports trans people and our rights but fighting the good fight has become increasingly difficult when prominent liberal platforms align themselves with transphobes for the misguided sake of presenting “both sides” of the “trans debate.” For instance, a recent NY Times opinion piece claimed that trans inclusivity is hurting cisgender women in the fight for abortion rights. A horribly transphobic talking point leveraged by conservatives and echoed by none other than Bette Midler on Twitter because a surface reading seemed “reasonable” and appeared in a media outlet not controlled by Rupert Murdoch. A mistake the Divine Miss M compounded by posting a defensive “apology” that included a description of the NY Times article as “well written.” This is how they are dividing us and it is very effective.
So how do we guard against the erosion of trans rights? First of all may I suggest something so simple that I am embarrassed I have to spell it out: Listen to transgender people! One thing the trans community and I find maddening and infuriating is how often the “trans question” is presented as something open for debate and nearly always by and for cisgender consumption with nary a trans person in the mix. If you think it is wrong for a bunch of old white men to decide what women can do with their bodies, then you should also believe that cisgender people should not be deciding what trans people can do with our bodies too. Even on a talk show.
Second of all, BELIEVE trans people. When we say something is transphobic and you have a hard time seeing it as a cisgender person, understand that you may not be the best judge. I myself am tired of hearing the refrain “I support trans people, but…” leave the mouths of cis people in the LGBTQIA+ community. It is the surest sign I am about to hear some transphobic bullsh*t. I recently gave up on a gay friend who could not see why Bette Midler’s Twitter post was transphobic. I’m sure he would have seen it as homophobic if she had been protesting against the inclusion of nonbinary designations or two brides or grooms on marriage certificates because it made marriage more “difficult” for straight people. He refused to see the transphobia that was plainly obvious to me. Don’t be that gay friend.
Finally, get involved! Here in Florida we have wonderful resources that track the anti-trans efforts being made by conservatives. Currently being considered is removing all support for transition health care paid for by Medicaid for ALL trans people in the state regardless of age. Both Equality Florida and the Human Resource Campaign are rallying efforts to oppose this change which would doubtlessly lead to the deaths of trans people. Contact them and they will let you know what you can do to help.
At times like this, we need everyone pulling together. I hope to see you out at the next trans and reproductive rights rallies.
Melody Maia Monet has her own trans lesbian themed YouTube channel at YouTube.com/MelodyMaia and is the vice president of the board for Come Out With Pride Orlando. To find more information on Pride, visit ComeOutWithPride.org.
