As if Gabriel himself spread the message, the word is out: Oct. 6 is a statute-required free admission day at The Holy Land Experience, and there’s a grassroots effort for LGBTs to christen the Bible-themed park with its first-ever Gay Day. Watermark passed through Holy Land’s Jerusalem City Gate to see what the park is like when not overtaken by red shirt-wearing LGBTs, and to find out what attendees should know before they go.
Click here to see the whole gallery from the day.
Parking is free
A uniformed guard greets cars at the entrance, but he just points out the parking and hands out a card stating the rules of the park. The list is pretty standard—secure valuables, bags may be searched, no smoking, pets, coolers, outside food or drinks, alcohol, drugs or weapons. The only odd things on the forbidden list are bathing suits and costumes. Maybe The Holy Land Experience has been stormed by rogue trick-or-treaters in the past?
“Have a blessed day” 
That phrase ends any interaction between park staff and guests. Beyond specifically service-related small talk, the staff was not very forthcoming. Questions about what it was like to work there and how employees found their jobs were shut down quickly, and only one staff member would admit to having heard a Gay Day was planned for the park.
Behold the Lamb
This is the infamous show where Jesus is dramatically crucified—twice every day. It is easily the park’s ‘main event,’ and even performers who are hosting shows close to the same time as Behold the Lamb recommend guests head over and see the passion play. The gore comes from rubber hoses that spray red liquid when the actors playing the guards “whip” the actor playing Jesus. None of the cast holds back—they shout, they scream, they undulate, and a bloodied Jesus is thrust into the audience of camera-wielding, ball cap-wearing tourists.
Things talk, things swarm
The children’s section of The Holy Land Experience is especially dangerous for the easily-startled. Sudden audio messages are emitted not just by the clearly animatronic features, but occasionally a voice or song will burst out when it would seem there isn’t anything nearby designed to make noise at all. Another of the park’s unpleasant surprises can be found in the prayer gardens, where standing water and a stifling landscape design guarantees visitors will be swarmed by bugs before they can utter a single “Our Father.”
Lots of Judaism
The Holy Land Experience is designed to resemble a mini-Israel, and this theme is taken to heart. This means that despite no acknowledgement of Judiasm as a valid, current religion, staff can be heard exclaiming “Shalom!” and there are some vaguely Israeli offerings in the cafeteria such as gyros, tabbouleh and an “Israeli salad.” Speaking of the food, it doesn’t look good and it didn’t taste good, but given average theme park concession prices, it’s pretty affordable.
Some parts are actually neat
Two attractions stand out: the Jerusalem Model and the Scriptorium. The Jerusalem Model is contained in the Shofar building and it’s pretty impressive. The giant scale replica contains miniature vignettes so detailed that a guest could study the display for hours and still see new things. Surrounding the model are forms and drop slots for prayer requests that a sign says are transported regularly to Israel’s famous Wailing Wall.
The Scriptorium, located on the far end of the park, is a 55-minute 
guided museum tour which houses dozens of authentic biblical manuscripts dating from BC to the present. The displays themselves are fascinating, and they are punctuated by robots and lighting effects that pale when held up to Disney standards, but are pretty entertaining anyway.
Why you should go
Founded by a Baptist Minister who converted from Judaism, The Holy Land Experience was purchased by California-based Trinity Broadcast Network (TBN) in 2007 for $37 million. While not overtly offensive to the LGBT community, Holy Land and owners Trinity Broadcasting Network exemplify the pseudo-Christian hypocrisy that is at the root of so much homophobia.
“We should hope that our message of equality will be embraced in a place where tolerance and acceptance of all is said to be preached,” said Gay Day at Holy Land organizer Kirk Hartlage, a freelance writer whose work appears in Watermark.
TBN broadcasts The Way of the Master, the Kirk Cameron-hosted reality series that has sent followers into West Hollywood to ‘witness’ to gay people. And there have been undocumented web-based rumblings of firings at Holy Land based on perceived sexual orientation.
More concrete are two accusations of sexual harassment leveled against TBN founder Paul Crouch Sr. In1996, former TBN employee Enoch Lonnie Ford filed a lawsuit against Crouch claiming he felt forced to engage in sexual acts to keep his job. TBN countered that Ford is a disgruntled drug addict with a criminal record, but they paid him $425,000 to settle the lawsuit.
Earlier this year, openly gay TBN employee Brian Dugger filed suit claiming Crouch harassed and flirted with him. Dugger alleges that TBN chief of staff Paul Crouch Jr. then fired him, telling him TBN “is not a place for fairies.” TBN claims it is protected from state employment laws because it is a religious organization.
These claims are unproven, but TBN’s craven use of the ‘prosperity gospel’ to raise funds later spent to support the Crouch’s lavish lifestyle is arrogant and undisputed.
In a 2004 exposé, the Los Angeles Times documented TBN’s estimated $64 million profit on $171 million in revenue. It pays for a private jet and 11 homes, including an $8 million mansion in Newport Beach—all used by the Crouches.
The prosperity gospel is a timeworn method of encouraging giving from those who can least afford it by promising a god-given return on donations. The more people pledge to TBN, the more God will provide for them.
TBN viewers are encouraged to “sow a seed” by using their credit cards to make donations. “Get Jesus on that credit card!” shouted one preacher during a pledge drive.
And if they don’t? “You are robbing God and you will lose your reward in heaven,” Crouch Sr. said during one telecast.
“The people on TBN are living the lifestyle of fabulous wealth on the backs of the poorest and most desperate people in our society,” said televangelist watchdog Ole E. Anthony.
And even though public roads, fire protection and law enforcement service Holy Land, TBN pays no property taxes because of a statutory exemption granted by Florida’s Republican-controlled legislature.
So go to Holy Land on Tuesday, Oct. 6 and rock their world. Just don’t buy anything.
