“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted. It is a phrase worth considering at every brick wall we encounter, and at every disappointment. It’s also a reminder that failure is not just acceptable, it’s often essential. When I taught the ‘Building Virtual Worlds’ course, I encouraged students to attempt hard things and to not worry about failing. I wanted to reward that way of thinking. So at the end of each semester, I’d present one team of students with a stuffed animal—a penguin. It was called ‘The First Penguin Award’ and went to the team that took the biggest gamble in trying new ideas or new technology, while failing to achieve their stated goals. In essence, it was an award for ‘glorious failure,’ and it celebrated out-of-the-box thinking and using imagination in a daring way. The other students understand: ‘First Penguin’ winners were losers who were definitely going somewhere.”—The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch (10/23/60 – 07/25/08)
Carnegie Mellon University has an annual event at the end of every school year titled The Last Lecture. Shortly after receiving the invitation to be the 2008 lecturer, Professor Randy Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given six months to live. Professor Pausch decided that this lecture would be a way that he could leave a legacy for his wife, children and those attending this lecture while at the same time inviting people to be intentional about living lifelong dreams.
What were your childhood dreams and are you living them today? At what age do we stop dreaming about what we could become and are considered grown up? How do we escape the trappings of all those growing up messages that serve to influence or maybe even control who we become? How do trends and commercials that influence what we should wear, eat, drive, smell and live impact our essence? How do we know who we really are? Are we who others think we are and, if so, which others? Family, friends, romantic interests, co-workers and society at large? Many of us have a tendency to become what is easy and risk-free from failure, oftentimes failing ourselves in the process.
Imagine what we could do if we did not consider failure or other judgmental assessments a character flaw. Failure or the fear of failure often comes with some sort of paralyzing factor rendering our actions frozen or at best, cautiously reserved. Why? Why are we so hard on ourselves or others who attempt to do something and fail? If you have received messages that failure was wrong or not an option, take a moment and see if you can remember how old you were when those messages began.
For many of us, those messages started when we entered school under a system that assessed our learning abilities with numbered or lettered grades. This system is designed to help students and parents know where the student is excelling and where there is a need for learning focus. Unfortunately, it does much more than assess the students’ learning, it teaches a system of judgment that varies from family to family and thus the fear of failure is born.
You may have been a student for whom learning and test-taking came easy and therefore, made good grades in school. But I would venture to say that you too have been impacted by this system. For example, think about those who have failed and the stories that were created by you or those around you.
We cannot escape the reality that we have been touched in varying ways by the concept that failure is wrong or not acceptable. I am not talking about failure that causes bodily harm or death. I am talking about the raw emotions and judgment systems that cause critical response to failures.
What do you notice? Do you notice achievements or failures? Which carries more weight? This reflection could teach you a lot about your response to systems of failure. What if, as Professor Pausch suggests, we begin to see failure in a new way. What if “failure is not just acceptable, it is essential” to our success? Failure often precedes our greatest learning, so why can’t we can make room for failure while bringing our personal best to what we do?
Courage comes in the dedication to move beyond the influence in and around our lives and a willingness to grow into our fullest potential. Have you turned out to be who you dreamed you would be or do you need to make some changes to fully live into all you are meant to be? Imagine what is possible if you let go of your system of judgment and dedicate yourself to a new definition of failure. The next time you see a stuffed penguin for sale, buy it as a reminder that failure is one of the most powerful teaching moments of our lives and should be valued and expected. When we can do this, then maybe world peace—or at least personal peace—will not only be possible, it will be achievable.
May you be empowered to embrace your fears as nothing more than an emotional companion as you live into the fullness of all you are called to be and do.
