10.24.13 Editor’s Desk

I live an incredibly gay life. I never intended it to be so glittery and fabulous, but, I constantly find myself surrounded by rainbow colors, female impersonators, festive parade floats and LGBT and LGBT-friendly dignitaries speaking out for equality.

It’s not a bad life at all. In fact, I feel fortunate to have a job that requires me to remain so involved in the community. There’s a certain comfort I take knowing that so many people are working toward one goal to make our state and our country better for everyone.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget how much work goes into accomplishing steps toward equality, and it’s not until we step away for awhile that it all comes back into focus.

After taking vacation for one issue in mid-September, I found myself thrown back into the mix of this skittles buffet as I attended the festivities surrounding the Tampa International Film Festival, the largest Come Out With Pride Orlando ever and a festive (and very warm) Sarasota Pride.

Next up for me? A lesbian wedding the last weekend of October. That’s my life!

It is a whole lot of LGBT thrown at me in one tiny month-and I love every minute of it.

While our community doesn’t always agree on what paths we must take to gain full equality, the strides we’ve made in the last 40-plus years are amazing, and would have been unimaginable in the last century. But here we are, with 14 states now fully accepting marriage equality as an inevitability-welcome aboard, New Jersey.

I was talking about the hectic October schedule with someone close to me when I realized that this month is LGBT History Month. It’s also the month for National Coming Out Day and Spirit Day-which combats bullying. The culmination of these dates are no accident, by the way.

Before I came out of the closet in late 1999, I remember learning about National Coming Out Day. I never understood why one day had to be slated for that particular, very personal act. Of course later, I understood that it was more about the statement coming out makes rather than scheduling one big closet-emptying ritual.

It got me to thinking about my own coming out, and how difficult and rewarding it was. As our publisher, Tom Dyer, discusses with tennis legend Billie Jean King in this issue’s cover story, there are rarely pain-free coming out experiences. Even if those close to you support you, there are still those who won’t. It’s an upsetting fact of life.

For me, coming out meant not seeing my parents for nearly two years and exchanging hand-written letters with my mother about my sexuality over a span of several months. My parents and I are on better terms now, and I tossed those letters a long time ago. I sometimes wish I would have saved them, just to remember how far my own family has come the past 15 or so years. But in order to move forward, you have to sometimes toss out the pain of the past.

While it was painful for my family, my coming out strengthened my relationship with my best friend and fueled my drive to move to Florida and pursue my journalism career. A stint at Watermark was never my plan, as I’ve mentioned before, nor was the incredible gay life that I now lead.

But I wouldn’t change it.

I go to a lot of fundraisers, events, pride celebrations and parties celebrating our community. One habit I’ve formed-purposefully-is to spot at least one person in the room who may be experiencing that atmosphere for the very first time and watch them react to their surroundings. Every time it’s a positive experience because they see they are not alone and that the LGBT community is not something of which to be ashamed, but to celebrate.

Too often we “preach to the choir” about equality, what it means to be LGBT and why equality is so important. And we sometimes disagree on what may be the correct path. But when we finally get to the point that everyone can live an incredibly gay life-whether accidentally or not-we’ll know that we have finally achieved our ultimate goal.