On the surface, Amala and Michael Waites appear to be just like any other heterosexual married couple. Michael, 39, works as a software engineer and Amala, 42, takes care of the home. They are also parents, with the youngest of their four children just turning 17 years old.
But the two have a leather dynamic that may seem less contemporary to many.
“She has vulnerability and I want to nurture her and take care of her,” explains Michael. “She keeps me on the bright side of things.”
The Dunedin couple have been married two years, but their fascination with leather and its community goes back nearly a decade. Amalasays she was never afraid to ask questions. Today she takes classes on the dynamics of power exchange and both take what they learn and share it with others.
“There is a dominant sub blend here,” Amala explains. “I can be bratty but this relationship is also very fluid. I have an alpha personality, but the Daddy/Girl dynamic lets me be vulnerable.”
And that’s an area Amala couldn’t fully explore before meeting Michael.
Michael has always liked the look and feel of leather. He explains that his father was a motorcycle aficionado and he soon learned of the connection leather had with the BDSM community. Now, with his marriage, he can explore that side of his nature while also serving as a protector to his wife. Both say the gay leather community makes it easy to learn more about the history of leather because it’s so accepting.
When asked whether the Little Girl role diminished the ongoing struggle for gender equality, Amala didn’t hesitate with a response.
“I am very much my own woman and I can speak my mind,” she explains. “We have lengthy discussions about important things and I made a purposeful choice to give him that authority to make final decisions.”
Those discussions usually lead to a mutual, satisfactory outcome, but there have been a couple of times where Michael had to make a decision in the household that may not have set well with his wife.
“A power exchange of some kind takes place in every kind of relationship, not just ours,” Michael says.
And it’s that exchange of power that makes this relationship click, Amala adds.
“But I have trust in him and I trust that any decision he makes is for the betterment of us and our household,” Amala says. “It’s about respect, not degradation. And we both know we deserve respect.”
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