The Other Side of Life: I. Miss. America

To many of the circles in which I roll, I am the frustrating liberal—the poet. In the world writ larger, I am the flaming conservative—the economist. As much as we like to eschew labels, we find ourselves answering to and for them: Believer, Rationalist, Gay, Conservative, Patriot, Aging, Obamaniac, Republican. These labels may look as seemingly contradictory as the sash I sew them onto.As I inhabit this America, that sash oscillates between Boy Scout (I miss America!) and Pageant contestant (I, Miss America).

“As a gay Republican,” in this, the Central Florida media equivalent ofChe-Guevara-meets-Stonewall, “write about how you can be this unicorn in a political party that hates myths.” Of course (Mr. Manes), the RepublicanParty is a party of myths. I’d say the same—and do, here—about the Democratic Party. WeRepublicanshavesmall government, and a founding father (Abraham Lincoln) that freed the slaves.WeRepublicansalso have fundamentalism, military transfer-payments, and provincialism. In fairness, you Democrats have your myths too: Jesus was a socialist, fiscal responsibility is a personal attack on otherness, Andrew Jackson (remember that “Trail of tears?”) couldn’t possibly have also politically fathered modern progressivism (hey, Elizabeth Warren!).

But there’s another “we”: The “we” that joins us—you and me, independent of our constructed political bents—by our inclinations toward each other.

Save the very few staunchest ideologues, we are—from our first fabulous breaths—hypocrites. We are forced into political stances that fly in the face of our true and consistent beliefs. How can anybody right a platform that values life and be both against abortion and for capital punishment? How can strong advocates for small government also advocate for giant transfers disguised behind a bloated military? How can voices for civil liberty also seek to limit the free exercise of religion?

Let’s remember—beyond soundbites—that we in this community sport our own sashes. Our badges may be different—like our experiences and our proclivities—but our goals arethe same. Arguments are not ideologies, they are entrance-points for discourse. If we can agree that we deserve equal standing under the law, can’t we agree that even as others blazed that idea before us, we are responsible for advocating the same values into the future? If we can agree that we need to share and protect our planet, can’t we agree that sustainability is just as important as advocating for personal responsibility?

Let’s agree that institutions—Constitutions, marriage, gay bars, gender, parties—were built in the past, exist in the now, and have room to evolve together.The lines defined by such institutions don’t always make sense when we are forced to choose. Which political party best aligns with the scintilla of difference between where we fall on the scale of social liberalism and fiscal conservatism? Choosing one over the other—Republican over Democrat—denudes neither our gayness nor our American-ness. All it says is that our ClassicalLiberal endowments curve one way or the other.

An alignment with a party that continues to evolve, to reach out, and to include “others” does not indicate a hatred of our “gay badge,” rather it indicates what we Republicans prefer to consider bravery. Instead of creating our own pageants, we wear our sashes as good citizens, good neighbors, philanthropists, and entrepreneurs. We respect otherness as an institution.

Ultimately, you and I can—and largely do—agree on the same set of challenges while still disagreeing on the solutions. If you can see me, a gay Republican, as something more than a cartoon represented by my party’s wingnuts, I can see you as somebody who respects fairness, institutions, safety, and rule of law despite your party’s wingnuts.

As knot-tiers—a newly available badge—we are all on a sliding scale between novice and mobius. We all have space on our sash. Our sashes match in nearly every way, despite the curves in our ideological endowments. We all walk across the same stage: swimsuits, oaths and stilettos. Sashaying, sashed.

We all believe that individuals matter, logic matters, incentives matter, and love matters. Right?

And even if not, let’s strive for discourse, big smiles, busty curves, and shoulders back. We are all sisters and brothers and emerging others.So, here we are, wearing our sashes and competing for first-runner-up. Or is it Eagle Scoutism? Miss Congeniality?