How many times can we say it? The year 2020 will forever be the year that sucked.
Social injustice, an election that never seemed to end, ridiculous conspiracy theories and that little thing called COVID-19 which altered our lives unlike anything that came before it. In a word, 2020 was ruthless. That may explain why I found such comfort in an old favorite movie: “Ruthless People.”
True, there are 100 billion different movies, series and documentaries to stream on a variety of platforms these days. Baking shows, sci-fi, sitcoms, animation and even a series about a chess genius are all great ways to escape reality. But this classic Bette Midler vehicle, co-starring Danny DeVito, is a gem of a movie layered in 1980s nostalgia, bright colors and one-liners that – for me at least – are more relatable at the tail end of 2020 than at any other time in my life.
For those younger than me, the film may not even be a familiar title. But for 40-somethings and older, the film is a reminder that seeing the world from another point of view is the best way to relate to the struggles of those around us. It’s also the perfect demonstration of self-reliance, personal choices and self-improvement.
If there was ever a time for self-reflection, 2020 was it. What better year to ask ourselves some tough questions?
How am I going to respond to this pandemic? Can I isolate for the health of my fellow man? Can I stand up for those who are facing inequities? Do I confront those not social distancing or do I mind my own business? How am I going to spend this extra time? Am I going to work on self-improvement or am I going to wallow in despair and depression?
We all had to ask ourselves these questions – and more – when 2020 was barely out of its Baby New Year phase. For me, I decided to focus inward instead of outward. It’s not that I ignored the world around me – I ferociously read news every morning and evening.
But as the distraction of the hustle and bustle of the daily world faded and I found myself alone with my thoughts, I finally heard what I was thinking. I feel like I know myself better now than nine months ago, when my office first closed its doors and my co-workers and I learned that we would be working remotely for the foreseeable future. It was almost like a chance to have a second set of resolutions to replace the traditional ones that rarely, if ever, get fulfilled.
I didn’t write the great American novel, purchase a dream house or start a family, but I learned how to be comfortable with myself. Honestly, I didn’t even know that was a struggle for me until I had to come face-to-face with it this year.
Which brings me back to the film.
In “Ruthless People,” Midler’s unlikeable character is kidnapped early on. While she is literally chained to a bed in a suburban home’s basement, she wallows in self-pity, spits comedic vitriol at her captors and promises revenge with every breath.
But as she channel surfs, the television lands on an exercise program. Rather than continue to be miserable and angry, she takes advantage of her situation and decides to participate, rather than remain passive. Over the weeks of her captivity she not only feels better about her body, but her mind seems to see things clearer too. She understands why she was targeted, learns some disturbing details about her husband and comes to respect her captors in a traditional 1980s non-Stockholm Syndrome kind of way.
It’s comedic fiction, yes. But the character Midler portrays emerges from a dark situation a better person with a more respectful view of her fellow man and a self-actualized in a way I never really understood before now.
Notably, in 2020, the latter is much easier to do than the former, but I’m still working on that.
We can only control so much of what is around us and this year proved that point. As chaos unfolded literally outside our front doors, it was up to us as to how we would respond.
What was right for me wasn’t necessarily right for you – and vice versa. We all had a challenging year and had to face uncertainties we never expected. Our own choices are what turned us into 2020 survivors.
Never before has it been more important or more necessary to be hopeful for the future and for the New Year. As 2021 inches closer, my hope is that life can slowly return to normal and my goals are much different than previous years.
I want to have dinner and drinks with my friends at a favorite restaurant or bar. I’m excited to sit in a movie theater and watch the next big blockbuster. And I really, really, just want to hug the people that mean the most to me. It’s been way too long.
I’m confident all those things will happen in 2021, but I hope we all also take what we learned from 2020 into the rest of our lives. Self-reflection, self-understanding and the continued relationship building with our own selves must continue, even as the normal noise and chaos of the world starts to distract us once again.
Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and here’s to a hope-filled 2021.
Steve Blanchard is the former editor of Watermark and currently works in Public Relations. He lives in Tampa with his husband and their two dogs.
