Ashley Rhodes-Courter is no stranger to the spotlight. The Tampa Bay-based author delivered her first keynote address at only 14, penned a New York Times Bestseller by the age of 22 and in the years since has shared her story worldwide.
The earliest part of her journey is detailed in “Three Little Words,” Rhodes-Courter’s 2009 memoir. It introduces readers to the nearly 10 years she spent as a child in the foster care system, including the abusive circumstances she overcame to find her voice.
It’s one she’s continued to use to advocate for child welfare whenever possible. Rhodes-Courter also published “Three More Words” in 2016, her book’s sequel examining her adult life.
It was in these later years that Rhodes-Courter obtained her Masters of Social Work, which she now uses to run Sustainable Family Services in Pinellas County. She also became a foster parent after marrying her husband, and the two cared for more than 25 children together.
The couple ultimately became the adoptive and biological parents of three – the subjects of “Sam Is My Sister,” their mother’s first children’s book. Published March 23 from Albert Whitman & Co., it marks another significant departure for the author: its LGBTQ focus.
It introduces readers to Rhodes-Courter’s young children Evan, Finn and Sam, whose names have been changed to protect their anonymity, and is inspired by the family’s actual experiences surrounding Sam’s coming out as transgender.
“Evan loves being big brother to Sam and Finn,” the book’s synopsis reads. “They do everything together – go fishing, climb trees and play astronauts. But lately, Evan notices that he and Sam don’t look like brothers anymore.
“Sam wants to have long hair and even asks to wear a dress on the first day of school,” it continues. “As time goes by, Evan and Finn come to understand why Sam wants to look like a girl – because Sam is a girl.”
“During our fostering years, we were able to adopt one of our kiddos that we had fostered, Sam,” Rhodes-Courter explains the book’s origins. “At around three or four – and even earlier, the signs were there – Sam, who was assigned male at birth, started expressing themselves differently than our other children who identify as cisgender.
“We’ve always been supporters of the LGBTQ community, and with my social work, I’m an affirming therapist,” she continues. “So we took notice and were familiar with these topics.”
As a toddler, Sam was drawn to more stereotypically feminine subjects, she explains. By kindergarten, she “was adamant about what she wanted to wear, wanted to be called and how she wanted to be seen in the world.”
Seeing herself represented in another picture book helped that process. Among the family’s LGBTQ-inclusive library was “I Am Jazz” co-written by transgender activist Jazz Jennings, which immediately spoke to Sam.
“I had never seen Sam’s face light up in the way that it did,” Rhodes-Courter recalls. “Sam just turned to me and said, ‘Mommy, that’s me. That’s me. I’m transgender!’ It was a total game changer and we stared exploring what that meant.”
Writing had long served as an outlet for her, so Rhodes-Courter began to document their family’s journey. She saw it as a helpful way to detail their experiences for professionals and educators.
It also “felt like it was important to chronicle these parts of our lives,” she says, “and because I was already a writer with published books, I had a really unique opportunity to bring this story to the community with the guidance and permission of my children. This is very much a family effort.”
The picture book avoids a first-person narrative for that reason. “We wanted to do something that was a little different than what’s already out there,” Rhodes-Courter says. “I think it’s so important for all the voices in a family to elevate one another.”
The author also hopes it sparks additional conversations about how families can be impacted by similar experiences. “This is a unique dynamic in our family,” she says, “and we hope that this will become a tool that can provide different talking points.”
To help bring it to life, Albert Whitman & Co. enlisted illustrator Mackenzie Haley, whose work has been celebrated for its bold colors. The artist calls bringing Rhodes-Courter’s story to the page an honor.
“Her story is so beautiful,” Haley says. “It’s really important people are aware of and learn about how to accept, love and value transgender persons.
“I was especially excited that she chose to share the story in picture book format because it’s an amazing opportunity to approach what can be a difficult conversation to have with children,” she continues. “For that matter, with adults … the book is going to be so helpful to children and adults alike.”
Rhodes-Courter certainly hopes so. At its core, “Sam Is My Sister” is a story about unconditional love; one in which Sam wants to be herself and her brothers let her.
“This book describes a very complex situation in really accessible language,” the author explains. “The lens of a children’s book can provide people like teachers with the language, skills and tools to understand how to create safer spaces for trans kids.”
“This is a real story,” Rhodes-Courter says. “Sam is a real child and we are a real family, just one of thousands and thousands and thousands. We hope to dispel a lot of myths and misconceptions about who trans kids are.”
“Sam Is My Sister” is available now wherever books are sold. For more information about Ashley Rhodes-Courter or MacKenzie Haley, visit Rhodes-Courter.com and MacKenzieHaley.com. For LGBTQ-inclusive resources and more information about Sustainable Family Services, visit SustainableFamilyServices.com.
