From left; Cathy Marcello is assistant director of programs for MMAA and the mother of a trans military youth; and Angie Cherikos is a fellow at Blue Star Families. (Photo of Marcello courtesy of MMAA; photo of Cherikos courtesy of Blue Star Families)
Two of the nation’s largest nonprofits supporting military families have joined forces to provide newly relocated LGBTQ military youth and their families safe meeting spaces, fun activities and vital resources about affirming services available across the district.
Blue Star Families, a community-based nonprofit supporting military-connected families, has partnered with the Modern Military Association of America, the nation’s largest organization serving LGBTQ military and veteran communities, to form “Safe Spaces for Belonging,” a monthly meet up for queer military youth and their families to meet local LGBTQ youth and allies while adjusting to their new environment.
“Military life is inherently transitory,” said Cathy Marcello, assistant director of programs for MMAA and the mother of a transgender military youth. “Every time LGBTQ military youth move, they have to come out again – and they move often before graduating from high school. We want them to know they’re not alone and give them literally a space where they belong.”
Past events, programmed for youth aged 13-19 who identify as LGBTQ or ally, have included an inaugural resource fair at MLK library, pronoun button making, rock climbing and a virtual trivia night. Events are open to all area LGBTQ-affirming youth to foster connections and help integrate queer military youth into their new communities.
Marcello noted military moves have been particularly stressful for queer military youth over the past few years. More than 500 anti-LGBTQ bills were introduced in 2023 alone, according to the Williams Institute.
LGBTQ youth with at least one parent in the military reported significantly higher rates of mental health challenges and suicide risks than their peers, according to the Trevor Project, due to deployment separations and fears of harm for the service member, in addition to stress related to potential moves.
“We’ve got military families in these states right now with family members who do not have equal rights under the law,” Marcello said. “The family programming that we do is in response to the emergence of these anti-LGBTQ laws.”
Military parents attending Safe Spaces events with their queer youth receive information on LGBTQ-specific resources across the district and can ask questions, such as if continuing their child’s transition care would be considered “abuse” under local laws, without risking their positions or security clearances.
“Don’t Ask Don’t Tell [the repealed LGBTQ open service ban] happened during my lifetime, and this is an outgrowth of ending that time of serving in silence,” said Julie Riggs, executive director of the Sheila and George Casey National Capital Region Chapter of Blue Star Families. She’s also the wife of a retired Navy service member and the mother of two queer teens who are former military youth. “In contrast, we’re proud of all service and proud to have queer kids.”
While the Safe Spaces program is currently only available in D.C., Riggs said she hopes to see it expand across the country. The program falls under the Blue Star Families’ larger Campaign for Inclusion initiative.
Under the initiative, last year Blue Star Families partnered with Howard University and The Chamberlain Project to host a panel symposium at Howard recognizing the 75th anniversary of military desegregation.
The initiative also covers the position of Angie Cherikos, the Lockheed Martin National Capital Region DEPLOY (Diversifying and Expanding the Pipeline of Leadership) Fellow at Blue Star Families. Cherikos is a recent college graduate who describes herself as a former “military brat” who grew up in the D.C. area. While she only came into her queer awareness within the past two years, she always felt different and closely aligned herself with the LGBTQ community.
“It can be frustrating not knowing where to go and how to integrate into the communities I identify with,” Cherikos explained. “I wanted to ease that experience for others.”
As a queer person of color, Cherikos said she wanted to ensure the Safe Spaces program reached out and connected to diverse communities.
She pointed out the generational trauma inflicted on her age group was not just from the rise in anti-LGBTQ legislation, but also from a variety of issues impacting different groups in different ways, including the protests and national reckoning in the wake of George Floyd’s murder, rising gun violence, and the visible impacts of climate change.
Cherikos said one way for her generation to work through this trauma was to connect and support each other when they can.
In February, Safe Spaces is meeting up for a Valentine’s Day cookie decorating event in Arlington, where Cherikos said a goal is to open up conversations about who they’re dating or to encourage self-love in an affirming environment. A yoga and mindfulness event is scheduled for March in Georgetown. Each event helps queer military youth learn and explore the area while sharing experiences with their new friends.
“One participant said the hardest part of his transition was not the hormones or anything like that, it was moving from D.C. to Tennessee and not seeing anyone who looked like him,” she said. “So, if you see someone who looks like they just need one friend, use opportunities like this to be that friend for them. That’s how you make an impact. That’s how you make change happen.”
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