If you look at the first issue with this column back in 2019, I talked a bit about what inspired me to call it #LoveHandlin.
It is an homage to those love handles we grow up loathing, busting ourselves in the gym to get rid of them, yet for all intents and purposes they can be considered your staunchest cheerleader because they appear to never leave your sides! If you are reading this, I am pretty sure you have grown within a cultural era that taught us how to idolize “body perfection” — sculpted muscles, thick calves under a thin waistline, the perfect physique. This adoration of the human form has inspired art like Michelangelo’s David and shaped our deepest desires throughout history, from every new year resolution to summer body goals, since the Renaissance period.
The quest for the perfect body has also haunted many of us who — for better or worse — have lived in between the lines of leisurely enjoyment and self-blaming for having the opportunity yet not taking the chance to have a better-looking torso. On top of it all, as one begins to navigate the intricacies of LGBTQ spaces and its aesthetic demands, it is very common to find oneself questioning that fourth slice of pizza, fearing the number on the scale will determine if I am truly worth my weight in… well, pizza.
My relationship with my own body has been rocky and at times dreadful. Lately, I have been learning more about what it takes to have a positive outlook on your body, and it has ultimately changed my perspective of what it means to be healthy. For many, the words healthy and overweight are two fiends that should never mingle, posing a dualistic extreme that ends up eating our very self-esteem.
When I became a yoga teacher back in 2012, I fell for the attainment of the most beautifully perfected asana, or yoga pose. I would try and prove to myself I could do a headstand or endure a two-hour melting hot class. The one thing I did learn about bodies in general is that they are all beautifully sculpted and proven biological vessels, capable of withstanding the most strenuous of hardships, renewing themselves every time we take them to the edge, allowing for our experiences to be sensed, enjoyed and memorized. Still, as you look at that same body in the mirror it is not your limitless power that shines through but the juxtaposed yearning of the bikini body curves or that V-shape muscle shining under the sun in that underwear promo.
The lies we tell our own bodies are brutal.
The extremes we can go to in order to prove something to someone else has led to a culture of low self-esteem, depression, alcoholism and extreme eating disorders. Yet, many of us are quickly waking up to the realization that “skinny” and “fit” are not the only ways a human body should be viewed and loved. Doing a quick search on social media will overwhelm you with ads that push the sense that carbs are your enemy, sugar is a big no-no and counting your steps every day is only a joke. This alternate reality that crowds our minds with unhealthy images of what could be differs drastically from the inclusive sense of what being body positive is all about. The greatest feat you can truly accomplish during this ad frenzy, media onslaught is honestly loving who you are, honoring what you have overcome and recognizing that you are exactly where you need to be right this moment.
Many medical professionals will debate whether there is an unhealthy weight and a healthy weight, which is very different from being skinny or fat. (Yes, fat. It is not a curse word, it is part of a wealth of individuals who are happy, healthy and proudly unapologetic — as it should be!) How many individuals do you know that appear thin yet look unhealthy? We are not only what we eat, we are also what we think and what you decide to feed yourself can bury you or lift you up.
Of course, being body positive does not mean a complete disregard for the medical attention we all need, as we all must learn and accept the fact that our physical bodies have limits. This perspective moves away from the appearance-focused mindset and embraces a balanced lifestyle that sheds the need for constant validation for a well-rounded take on the precious being you are in this life.
As we normalize and embrace our power through our different shapes and sizes, we move towards the neutralization of ill-informed decisions that could adversely contribute to unwanted outcomes. Start your day by thanking your body for keeping you safe, restful and entertained. Mindfully decide to nurture it with various nutrients and movements. Put in your mind the correct words, engage with the right people and value the spaces that promote self-love, regardless of what the media gets us to believe. We get to decide 100% of the time.
The important thing here is to remember that you are precious because of everything you have endured and your body is the physical manifestation of your greatness. If you only stop to see the so-called flaws, ignoring completely why that scar is where it is, or look away from the mirror because of those skin spots, stretch marks or patchy dry spots, you are closing the book on the greatest story you have ever written. A story that reminds you of your struggles, your hangovers, your smiles, your pain and the realization that everything you bring to everyone’s life is unique, perfect and purposeful. It is quite the journey to look into the mirror and feel comfortable, appreciated and loved but when you change the way you see yourself, you can love your body and still appreciate your body, not for what it hasn’t done but for what it is prepared to do with the right attitude.
Summer is coming, show the sun how to be a star!
